The Guardian of Konoha
by Kailus
Summary: Naruto wasn't sure what he wanted to specialize in, then Kakashi asked him if he really wanted to protect his friends. Enter the Guardian of Konoha. The World of Shinobi, taken back to the time when we could laugh and say, "That's some ninja s*** right there." Pairings undecided. Slightly AU. Tank!Naruto, slightly less stupid, and twice as willing to jump in front of a death beam.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

So, for the first chapter I've ever published to the general public, I really don't have much to say. I figured I'd be spewing my guts out, but no. I have, in a moment of startling clarity, realized that no amount of grovelling will make this any less terrible.

That being said, the ridiculous "graduation exam" that we see in canon is . . . terrible. I've spent the first few chapters exploring and expanding on what a comprehensive exam might look like. This was my best shot at it. Of course, I'll be radically altering some other canon bits, so this could be considered AU. From the get-go, we're looking at a slightly less stupid Naruto (nothing ground-breaking, I assure you), a more interesting encounter with Mizuki, and some _Fuuinjutsu_ stuff ('cause that shit is crunk, yo).

As for pairings, I really don't know. I'm not a huge fan of romance or any of that. I might just follow the canon pairings, but those have their own issues. I think I'll just see how things end up. And no, there will not be any relationships formed before the timeskip, have you ever know a couple that's been together since they were _twelve?_ High-school sweethearts are rare enough as it is. Also, yes, I am fucking with the team assignments. No It does not have anything to do with pairings, I'm looking at it from the perspective of "instead of segregating our teams into groups with ridiculously crippling overspecialization, let's try and balance them out a bit."

 **. . .**

Chapter 1: School Days

Naruto was sure that there was no better feeling in the world than the morning sun on his face. The summer breeze cut through the streets of _Konohagakure no Sato_ and tousled his hair. He ran his fingers through the unruly blond spikes, enjoying the feeling of them on his scalp.

The Hokage Monument had lit up with the sun's light just moments before, and Naruto never missed the chance to see it from his balcony if he could help it.

MInato Namikaze was Naruto's favorite, and the one hailed by the world as the greatest _Shinobi_ to ever live. That was why Naruto was going to surpass him.

The young boy stomped on the rail that separated his small overlook from the roof and raised a fist.

"You know that, _Yondaime!?_ I'm gonna get better and better, every day. And then everyone will have no choice but to notice me!" He turned his back on the monument. "I'm gonna be the greatest Hokage _ever_!" Assured that there would never be another _Shinobi_ as great as him, Naruto walked back into his apartment. He elected to ignore the villagers staring up at the pyjama-clad boy screaming at the Hokage Monument.

"Now I gotta get dressed and eat breakfast. Should I have pork, or miso? Maybe beef?" Naruto stroked his chin as he pondered his first meal for the day. "Oh, maybe I'll have a salt ramen. I haven't had one of those in a while . . . yeah. I'll have salt ramen today!" He took off at a run towards his cupboard. Every student at the _Konoha Shinobi Academy_ was taught the importance of a balanced breakfast.

At that moment, something reached out and snagged his foot, dragging him to the ground. Naruto yelped and rolled, bringing himself into a combat-ready stance, looking for whatever fiend had dared to assault him in his own home.

It was his backpack, carelessly discarded the night before; it returned his war-face with calculated indifference. Naruto was sure the thing was out to get him. Either by losing his homework, or, as illustrated by its most recent attempt, outright assassinating him.

"Cheeky little bastard. Why don't you go wait by the door?" He kicked the bag away, and resumed his journey to the kitchen.

A little-known fact about Naruto Uzumaki was that he only possessed two clocks. One sat on his nightstand, and the other next to his kettle. His nightstand-clock had always done its job faithfully and woken him up at dawn every day. The kettle-clock, however, was different. It, like his backpack, seemed determined to make his life hell.

The normal three-minute wait for his ramen always stretched infinitely when he used the kettle-clock. The only way Naruto had found to mitigate this wait was to set the alarm for three minutes and then not look at the clock until it rang.

If not for his deep-seated and justified resentment for the kettle-clock, he would have noticed that his first class started in ten minutes.

As the clock ticked down precious seconds until he could be united with his glorious and exalted breakfast, Naruto focused on getting dressed.

His orange tracksuit was one of his most prized possessions. Accented with navy  
blue and white, most _Shinobi_ scoffed at his attire, but Naruto knew they were just jealous. After all, how many ninja could find _orange_ pants at a _Shinobi_ outfitter? and at such a bargain, too.

That kind, old salesman had been so happy for his find. He seemed almost eager to get rid of all of the suits, but Naruto was sure it was just reverse-psychology or whatever, to get him to not buy it.

 _Ha! Joke's on you, old man._ Naruto loved his jumpsuit. He zipped the jacket over his black T-shirt, and went to find Gama-chan.

He found the poor girl under his bed. Apparently, she'd been knocked down there when he flailed around in his sleep.

"Sorry, Gama-chan. I'll never do it again." That was a lie, Naruto always moved in his sleep. Whether from a nightmare or something else, he never remembered when he woke up. He pressed the frog-shaped wallet to his cheek and offered a most heartfelt apology.

Suddenly, the alarm for his ramen went off, and Naruto shouted with joy. He stuffed his frog-wallet into his back pocket and ran back to the kitchen.

He set the cup on his two-person table, and poured himself a glass of milk. The cup of ramen didn't even take him a full minute. He swallowed the broth in one giant gulp and tossed the spent cup into the nearly-overflowing garbage can. If it bounced out and back to the floor as some others had, Naruto didn't notice.

His attention was instead on the kettle-clock, which had foiled him once again.

He had six minutes until class started.

Iruka had threatened to flay him if he showed up late for his first day of finals.

"Dammit!" Naruto became a blur of motion around his apartment as he gathered what he needed for the day: backpack, kunai holster, tool pouch. He stopped dead at his nightstand. His goggles were sitting there, pristine as the day he'd found them wrapped up in his box at the Academy. The one thing in his apartment Naruto never allowed to succumb to the persistent mess.

"Hehe." He pulled the goggles over his forehead. The dark lenses didn't have a scratch on the expensive, thick glass, and the matte-green metal casing had been diligently polished the night before. "Alright, now I'm ready, I say." Naruto decided that he didn't have time to use the door, and instead ran back to his overhanging balcony.

The leap to the ground was child's play. Naruto landed with a grunt as the shock went through his legs, then he took off down the street at a sprint.

The streets of _Konoha_ were irregular and cluttered. Power lines and trees mixed and mashed together in a random, chaotic medley of the natural and man-made worlds. At least, that was how most citizens saw them. Naruto could see the patterns. The streets lined up for him in such a way that he could always find the quickest route.

He ducked under a sagging clothesline and then leapt over a slow-moving cart. The driver yelled at him for spooking the oxen, but Naruto didn't care.

He was late, and he couldn't become Hokage if Iruka flayed him. Instead of staying on the larger side-street, Naruto swung into an alley. It would take him towards the main thoroughfare, but Naruto turned before he got there. He leapt a fence, and from where he was standing, it was a straight-shot to the Academy. The boy congratulated himself for a speedy arrival. His class was on the first floor, and he still had three minutes, so there was no hurry.

The Academy was located right beneath the administrative building, where the Hokage worked. Naruto didn't know if he lived there as well, but the old man was always around. He pushed open the main doors and found his way to classroom 105.

The rest of his classmates had already arrived, apparently. They were all staring at him as he came through the door. He chuckled and said, "Okay, I'm here. On time. Isn't that crazy?"

Naruto had a problem. He was not well-liked at the Academy. His teachers—except for Iruka—all thought he was a useless punk. And his classmates had long since been convinced that he was not worth the trouble of associating with. If any of this bothered Naruto, he didn't let it show through his bright grin.

"Naruto," said a voice behind him. It sounded vaguely surprised.

"Oh! Iruka-sensei, I'm here on time today, so don't flay me, okay?"

"Sure, Naruto. Please take your seat." Naruto smiled and nodded at his teacher. The man had a long scar across his nose that Naruto thought was the coolest thing ever, but Iruka wouldn't tell him where he'd gotten it.

Naruto scanned the classroom for an open seat, preferably one next to Sakura-chan, but she was surrounded by her friends already. The classroom was pretty big, so he looked further back. Kiba, Shikamaru, and Choji were all taking up a window row. Besides, they only associated with him for the purposes of pranking or skipping class.

There were only two seats open, one on either side of the weird boy who always had bugs floating around him. Naruto wasn't sure why no one ever sat next to him. He ran up the sloped desks and slid into the aisle seat, dropping his backpack by his feet. "Hi," he said quietly. It was a bad idea to interrupt Iruka when he was taking roll.

The other boy didn't respond for a second, then he said, "hello." Naruto was embarrassed to admit that he didn't remember the boy's name, so he just stayed quiet after that.

". . .Uchiha Sasuke?" Iruka asked. A boy in a blue shirt raised his hands. He was staring out the window like he didn't have a care in the world, clearly ignoring the noises the girls surrounding him were making. Naruto wasn't sure if he hated Sasuke, but he certainly had a problem with the boy's superior attitude, even if he had the skill to back it up.

"And Naruto's here, on time for once, too. Good. Yamanaka Ino?."

"Hello!" The girl raised her hand.

Iruka set the roll sheet down on his desk, then turned to address the students. "As I'm sure you're all aware, today's the day we begin the final tests. After lunch we'll be testing on the _Henge_ , but before that, it's the written test. I hope you all studied last night." Naruto let his head collide with his desk. He groaned loudly. _Of course I would forget to study._ He had been so busy practicing his _Henge,_ he'd forgotten all about the written exam. The boy next to him turned his head to face Naruto.

"Naruto-san, I'm sure that damaging your head right now is not conducive to passing the written test. You'll need every brain cell you can spare." Naruto tried to glare at him, but he couldn't make eye contact through the boy's dark glasses.

Naruto settled for pulling his goggles down further to cover the growing goose-egg on his forehead and ignoring the quiet boy's burn.

"You have twenty minutes to go over your notes, then I'm passing out the test." Naruto opened his backpack and found his notebook unmolested. He looked suspiciously at his bag.

"No way are you not planning something. I'm on to you."

"Naruto-san?"

Naruto realized too late he had said that out loud. "Er, nothing, um . . ."

"My name is Shino. You have forgotten it six times over the course of the year, despite having sat next to me for most of this semester."

"Uh, sorry, Shino. Won't happen again"

"I do not mind. I seem to be easily forgotten by many in this class." The boy was obviously lying; Naruto could see the twitch developing under his sunglasses.

"So, do you want to go over these notes together, or what?"

"No, thank you. I memorized all of mine last week."

Naruto moaned in defeat. All of his other classmates were quizzing each other and making corrections when necessary. In a desperate attempt to retain something, he looked over his notes. His handwriting was terrible, and he couldn't make out half of what he'd scribbled down several months ago. Twenty minutes passed this way, each tick of the clock sounding like a bell, bringing Naruto closer to his final judgement.

"Okay. That's time. Please put your notes away. I'll know if you cheat." Iruka looked around the room. "You all have until ten o'clock. The test is eighty questions, mostly short answer. Some are multiple choice and there'll be an essay question at the end." He handed a stack of tests to each student sitting in the front row. They began passing them backwards. When Naruto finally got his, it was the last test in the stack. "Begin now," said Iruka.

 _Okay, I got this. Question 1: List the three primary_ Shinobi _arts (3 points)._ Naruto actually knew the answer to this one. _Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Genjutsu._ He wrote them down and moved on. _Question 2: What is Chakra?(2 points)_ Another easy one. _Chakra is the combination of_ yin— _spiritual energy— and_ yang— _physical energy._ Shinobi _use Chakra to perform_ Jutsu. _Depending on the type of technique, more physical or spiritual energy may be employed. In addition, some_ Shinobi _use Chakra to enhance their normal physical abilities, such as running, jumping, or punching._ He knew the answers all the first five questions, but those were mostly common knowledge. Any civilian could answer them, probably.

It was Question 6 where he found his first pitfall. _Name each hidden village that Konohagakure is allied with (0.5 points per correct answer)._ Naruto only knew of three, and he was sure there were more. _Um. . . Takigakure, Sunagakure, and . . . Kusagakure? Yeah. I'll come back to this one._ As Naruto made his way through the test, he found a surprising amount of questions that he could answer correctly. _Question 20: Name each Hokage in chronological order(4 points)_. And some that he had no hope of answering at all. _Question 45: What is the commonly accepted cause of the Second Shinobi World War?(1 point)._

The essay question, however, was apparently tailor made for him. _Compare and contrast the Fourth Hokage with the First. Which policies of theirs did you approve of? Both of these_ Shinobi _sacrificed themselves for the sake of the village, but in different ways. Which one was the better Hokage, in your opinion?_ Naruto looked at the clock. He had nearly thirty minutes to finish this question.

Plenty of time.

Once ten o'clock rolled around, Iruka called for the class to set their pencils down and told them to pass their tests forward.

Naruto chuckled as he passed his test to the girl in front of him. He had surprised himself with how well he'd done.

"Whaddaya think, Shino? Did you pass?"

Shino turned his head to face Naruto. "I believe my performance was satisfactory."

Naruto scoffed. "Killjoy."

Iruka finished stacking the completed tests, then he turned back to the class. "Take a five minute break, then we'll go to _bukijutsu_ practice until lunch." A vast majority of the class filtered out of the room.

Naruto didn't have anything to do during the break, so he decided to try and make conversation with Iruka instead.

"Oi, Iruka-sensei, when are we having the _Bunshin_ Final?" Naruto was nervous about that one. He could never get the _Bunshin_ down right.

"Day after tomorrow, Naruto." Iruka smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

"Of course I will, sensei!" Naruto beamed at Iruka. "I'm gonna be the best, why would I let a stupid _Bunshin_ get in my way?!"

"Hey, Naruto," said Shikamaru without bothering to lift his head. "Some of us are trying to sleep. Mind keeping it down?" Naruto was about to tell the lazy pineapple-head that he shouldn't be sleeping in class anyway when Sakura spoke up from across the room, not removing her nose from the book she was reading.

"Yeah, Naruto, it's hard to focus with you yelling," she said. Naruto instantly closed his mouth. _Well, if it's for Sakura-chan, I can be quiet for a bit._ "Besides, you're never gonna be anywhere near the best. You've got no talent." Several of his other classmates laughed in agreement.

"That's cold, Sakura-chan," said Naruto, dropping his head to his desk again. _Someday I'll prove them wrong and get_ everyone _to acknowledge my aspirations._ "Ah, just you all wait. I'm gonna be Hokage someday, and then we'll see who's laughing," he said under his breath. It was quiet enough that no one else in the classroom could have heard him.

Five minutes passed, and Iruka led them out to the practice yard. "Line up in rows of five. You'll each get three attempts to hit the target with all three kunai. Extra credit if all five of your shuriken also land. This is pretty much how the test is gonna go tomorrow, so try and get your best shots in."

Iruka stood to the side as they all lined up. Naruto wasn't the best shot in his class, but he was far from the worst. He sunk all three of his kunai on the first try, but his shuriken were off target. When he came back for his second try, his kunai landed again, and three of his shuriken also struck the human-shaped wooden post. Two of his kunai had landed in a vital area. The third had only struck the shoulder, however. His shuriken had landed on the target's stomach area.

"Naruto, try again. I think you'll get them all next time," Iruka said. "Sakura, throw harder. Good job Sasuke. All eight in a vital area. I expected as much." Iruka continued down the line, coaching each student as they threw. Naruto was too busy looking at Sasuke's target to notice what Iruka had said. All eight of them, twice in a row. _No way_. Naruto was _not_ going to lose to Sasuke again.

Naruto waited until he was at the front of the line, then he tried a throw he had seen in one of his textbooks. It was never taught in the Academy, but he'd been practicing it on his own for the better part of the year.

The fact that he'd never gotten it to work was moot. He couldn't fail now.

Naruto held his kunai in his left hand, point facing his palm, and his shuriken in his right. First, he loosed the shuriken, then, immediately after, he spun and followed through with the kunai. In a perfect world, the shuriken would have struck each joint on the target, and the kunai would have followed, one to the neck and two to the heart.

It was not a perfect world. His shuriken struck true, but he tripped over his own feet during his pirouette and fell on his ass. The kunai ended up not even halfway down the range.

And then everyone was laughing at him. Iruka was shaking his head sadly and Sasuke was smirking at him. "What?" he finally said to the dark-haired Uchiha boy. "You think you can do better?"

"As a matter of fact . . ." Sasuke grabbed Naruto's tools from the ground. He walked back to where Naruto was sitting, and then took another five yards for good measure. Where Naruto had failed, Sasuke succeeded with all the grace of a dancer. Each weapon struck its target perfectly. "I've been practicing that move since last week myself. What, did you just see it and try it yesterday?"

"No," said Naruto. Ignoring his classmates' laughter in favor of glaring at Sasuke's smirking face. "I've been trying to learn it all year. I thought I had it down last time." Sasuke hadn't expected that answer, and he wasn't sure how to respond, knowing that Naruto, of all people, was being diligent.

"Well, that's what you get for trying to show off. Stick to what's on your level, _Dobe._ "

 _Dobe,_ Dead Last. The name had been following Naruto since the end of his first year. Like an old curse, it just wouldn't go away. No matter what he tried. No one ever wanted to even give him a chance anymore.

Sasuke's expression changed. He had been in that position once, when he was younger; he'd never been able to match up to _That Man_ either. He extended a hand to Naruto. "Come on. You're embarrassing yourself down there."

The laughter had died down as their classmates went back to practicing Bukijutsu. Naruto slapped his hand away and stood up by himself. "Just you watch, Sasuke. Someday I'm going to surpass everyone and become the greatest _Shinobi_ to have ever lived."

Sasuke, for his part, was offended that his "peace offering" had been rejected. "You keep telling yourself that, _Dobe._ " Sasuke turned and walked away. Naruto looked around to see if anyone was still laughing at him, but they had all gone back to practicing.

All except for that weird, shy, sickly girl, who was looking at him intently. He remembered her name was Hinata.

"What?" he said. It must have come out more harshly than he intended, because the girl visibly flinched. Naruto was angry enough that he didn't really care. His face was burning with embarrassment _._ "I suppose you think my dreams are a waste of time, too? Just like everyone else . . ."

"Um . . . n-no. Actually. I-I don't t-think that at a-all." Before she could continue, Iruka called for lunch.

"Oh," said Naruto, having realized his mistake. "Well, I'm sorry for snapping at you, Hinata-san." He turned around and left the target field. The Third would have been very disappointed if he'd seen that. He was always telling Naruto that getting angry never solved anything.

"Naruto," the old man had said. "Letting your anger get the better of you is the worst possible thing to do. Always remember that, especially for you, anger will only lead to more problems."

He had half an hour to get home and eat. He elected to walk down the main street of _Konoha_ instead of the rat-race from when he left for the Academy.

Naruto's bad mood disappeared as soon as he thought of ramen. "Hmm, beef is best for lunch, but maybe I should have miso instead?" Naruto decided to let chance pick for him and closed his eyes before reaching into his cupboard.

 _Chicken. Damn it._ Naruto heated the ramen while pointedly ignoring the kettle-clock. When his ramen was finished, he ripped off the top and took it outside to his balcony. The Monument was not nearly as impressive in the noon sun as it was in the morning, but Naruto would happily look at it any time of day, imagining his face up there.

"Well, I guess I tried today, but I made an ass out of myself in front of everyone. Sakura-chan still thinks I'm an idiot, and Sasuke's just as smug as always." Naruto hung his head. "I also snapped at a girl. I shouldn't have, poor Hinata looked pretty upset, but I was _so_ angry. Actually, I was more pissed at myself than anyone else." Naruto wondered what he was doing wrong with that technique. Sasuke had learned it in a _week_. It had taken Naruto almost a year just to get the spin right, and he had even managed to mess that up. He looked back at the stone faces.

"Don't think for a second this means you win! I'm gonna graduate, and then I'm gonna impress the old man so much, he'll make me Hokage on the spot." He made eye contact with the Fourth's face. "Smug bastard. I'll get you someday."

His nightstand clock let him know that it was time to head back to the Academy. He took the stairs this time. The main road was a pleasant walk when villagers weren't frantically trying to get to work in the morning.

The cold looks were the same as always, though.

Back at the Academy, Iruka and his assistant Mizuki, who had been absent this morning, had them form a line. Iruka was holding a pen and a clipboard.

"Okay," he said. "First, Aburame Shino. Please take the form of either me or _Sandaime-sama_." Shino passed, of course. That kid gave Naruto the impression of quiet competence. Kind of like Sasuke, minus all the smug. "Akimichi Choji . . ."

They went down the line in alphabetical order. The _Henge_ was stupidly easy, even for Naruto.

Well, it was now, but had taken him twice as long as everyone else to learn it. This time, though, there was a good reason.

Usually, when someone used a _Henge,_ they utilized their _Yin_ Chakra, and created an illusion. Naruto, never one to go with the flow, started practicing the _Henge_ with his _Yang_ Chakra, meaning he was physically transforming his body. In fact, he couldn't transform with his _Yin_ Chakra at all. Naruto wasn't one to half-ass things, though; if he needed to transform, he was damn well going to do so.

Iruka hadn't believed him when he'd been told, so Naruto had shown him. Apparently, what he was doing was technically impossible, but when Iruka had brought him to the Third, Sarutobi had told him that it was something unique to Naruto.

Not that Naruto had any idea what that meant.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto hadn't told any of his classmates that his _Henge_ was an actual, physical transformation. The Third had made him promise not to. As much as he'd love to shove the ability in Sasuke's face, the Third had told him it could be dangerous if his classmates tried to do it. "Please transform into either me, or _Sandaime-sama_."

Naruto elected to transform into Iruka. He'd done the Third last time. " _Henge no Jutsu!"_ In a flash of Chakra and a puff of smoke, Iruka was facing a perfect clone of himself, right down to the individual pass/fail markings on his clipboard.

"Good. A bit too much Chakra, but the _Henge_ itself is perfect. Pass. Mizuki?"

Mizuki looked him over. "It's good, Iruka. He's even got the rip in your kunai holster. Pass." Iruka made a note on his clipboard. Naruto stopped himself from celebrating. It would have been rude to interrupt Ino's test. The last time he had been rude to Ino . . . didn't bear thinking about.

After Ino was finished, Iruka and Mizuki conferred for a few seconds, then they appeared to come to an agreement.

"Congratulations to those of you who passed," said Mizuki. "This concludes the _Henge_ test."

Iruka stepped away from his desk. "Alright, girls, please head on down to Yoko-sensei's room. Boys, Ito-sensei will be here in five minutes."

 _Is it really Seduction and Appliances in Information Gathering today? Blech._ Well, at least he didn't have to worry about another test. Iruka and Mizuki left the classroom, probably to grade the written tests.

Naruto climbed the steps to find a seat in the back of the class, looking for a place to sleep without looking like he was doing so. He and Ito-sensei had an agreement: Ito didn't try to get Naruto to participate in his ridiculously superfluous and inefficient seduction classes, and Naruto didn't prank him into the afterlife or disrupt class.

Instead, Naruto opted to think of what he could to to make up for his failure earlier. It would have to be something spectacular, something that no one would be able to deny was extraordinary. He closed his eyes and placed his head on his desk. Shikamaru, below him, had the same idea, if not the same motivation.

 _I think I still have some paint . . . I'll need some rope, and it's gotta be timed perfectly._

Iruka was using the time away from his normal class to grade the written tests. It was with apprehension that he placed each one to the side. Iruka would never admit to playing favorites, but after watching over Naruto for three years, he knew he'd be lying if he didn't admit that the boy was special to him.

 _But he's so bad at written tests . . . even if he fails it, though, as long as he doesn't get a zero, he should pass today with how well he did on the Henge._ Naruto and his solid transformations never ceased to amaze Iruka. It was no doubt a result of the hateful creature that the boy contained, but the uses of such a thing could be limitless.

The only drawback he had found was that whatever Naruto turned into, it could still be damaged. He remembered having the boy turn into a metal post and punching it. He had injured his hand, but Naruto said he felt the punch nonetheless.

It was a weird technique.

Iruka realized he had reached the essay part of Haruno Sakura's test. The girl was a delight to read, as long as he ignored the doodles of "Sasuke-kun and Sakura, Together Forever" on the side of her paper. _98%, of course._ He kept on moving through the tests. It was almost mechanical as he graded the papers much faster than his partner, to whom he had given the first third of the stack.

He continued down, finally reaching Uchiha Sasuke's test. _97% Probably in the top three, then._ He looked at the next test with dread.

Uzumaki Naruto. As he turned the first page, he was surprised by all of the correct answers. Certainly, he missed just as many, but the fact that his answer to Question 2 was the best Iruka had received this year was a matter of personal pride for the teacher. Never mind that he was quoting the Third almost verbatim. Iruka was happy for him anyway.

His essay, making up a total of 15% of his grade, was what Iruka was the most worried about. The questions were randomized, to mitigate cheating attempts, and he had written four different essay prompts and scattered them randomly throughout the tests. One was historical, the other three had to do with the basics of _Shinobi_ techniques.

Naruto had gotten the history question, and aside from his terrible handwriting, he had answered it pretty much as well as Iruka had dared to hope any of his students could. _74%, yes!_ He passed, and Iruka breathed a sigh of relief.

Mizuki looked up from his own test, Hyuuga Hinata's, who had an almost perfect score, and watched Iruka for a second. "What?" he finally said, when he could no longer stand the look of pride on Iruka's face.

"Naruto passed. Not by the skin of his teeth, either. He got a C." Iruka knew Mizuki didn't really like the boy. Iruka had lost his parents to the fox, but Mizuki had lost his entire extended family and all of his classmates. Still, Mizuki smiled at him.

"Well, that's great Iruka. I know how much him succeeding means to you."

Iruka smiled at his best friend. "Thanks, Mizuki."

"Hey, you taught him. I'd have to be a real asshole to want him to fail just because of, er . . . _that._ " Mizuki choked. The air in the room became stiff, as Iruka was technically obligated to execute his partner for bringing up that event out loud.

Iruka powered through his last few tests.

Nara Shikamaru got a 79%, apparently by design, as each answer was perfect, and the only questions he didn't get correct were all left blank, including his essay. _That boy . . ._

Shino got a 95%, as any opinion questions that couldn't be answered objectively were left blank.

And Yamanaka Ino got 100%, once again proving herself academically to be the best of the year. _She'll go far, assuming she gets over Sasuke._ She, like Sakura, and several other students, had doodled in the margins. If she hadn't gotten a perfect score on his test and still had time left to doodle, he'd have called it disgraceful.

"Well, I'm done," he said, breaking the awkward silence.

"Uh, yeah. Me too." Mizuki looked like he was still mortified that he'd almost broken that law. "Want to, uh . . . want to go get some tea?"

"Sure, Mizuki. Let's go." Iruka looked around, as if making sure they were alone. "Relax, I'm not going to lop your head off for a slip of the tongue."

Mizuki chuckled nervously. "Yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** So, I was gonna release these chapters on a weekly basis, but I decided to go ahead and just throw this one out there. From now on, I'll try and release them pretty squarely on Fridays.

 **. . .**

Chapter 2: School Daze

Normally, _Konohagakure_ was quiet in the morning, at least once the rush had ended. Today, however, half of the population was in an uproar.

"Ha-ha! As if any of you slowpokes could ever catch up to me!" Naruto sprinted down the street. Three _Chunin_ were on his tail, but they had no chance of ever catching up to him. "I'm extraordinary, and you chumps couldn't catch me even if I wanted to be caught!" One of the chunin lunged at him, and he rolled under the older man's arms.

 _That was close . . . These guys are getting faster._ Naruto decided he needed a change of scenery. The rooftops of Konoha were much more open than the streets, but that just meant he had more room to move.

He pushed off a low hanging branch and leapt onto a roof. From there, he could see the Hokage Monument. He had to laugh again as he looked at the faces. Each one was vandalized in some manner. The First was painted to look like a drooling old man, as was the Second. The Third and Fourth were done up like fancy ladies. He chuckled, and then leapt from the to the next roof over.

"Catch me if you can, suckers!" Naruto felt himself impact with something solid, and looked up to see Iruka's stern glare. "I-Iruka-sensei. I'm so glad I found you! I was just coming to class, and then these C _hunin_ just suddenly started chasing me! It's madness, I say, madness!"

"Oh, yes," said Iruka. "You won't believe what's happened to the Monument. It's been vandalized. Beyond recognition, some say!" Naruto's eyes lit up at what he perceived to be a compliment

"Yeah, I knew I did well!" He stopped himself too late. "Uh, er . . . I mean, whoever did that is obviouslyavillainandshouldbepunished?" Naruto flinched away from Iruka.

"Yes, Naruto. You're right about that. Whoever did that to the revered Hokage is going to be punished." Iruka bent down to look Naruto directly in the eye. "You wouldn't happen to know who did it, would you? Because I do."

"Shit."

"Language, Naruto." Iruka grabbed the boy by his ear. "Now, I'm going to take you back to class. You're going to sit and be _pleasant_. If you can manage that, maybe I'll only make you clean it off after class is over, instead of failing your finals _in absentia._ Got it?"

"What's _in absentia?"_

"Naruto, so help me I will _end_ you."

"Y-yes, sir." Iruka's glare left no room for any thought but the fear of imminent extermination.

The classroom was dead silent as the _Chunin_ led Naruto in by his ear. Iruka dropped Naruto on the floor, where he cradled his head

"Oh, you've done it now, _Dobe,_ " said Kiba. His puppy, Akamaru, yipped in agreement, and several other students chuckled.

"Silence!" said Iruka. "Now, thanks to the antics of your classmate, here." He placed a foot on Naruto's back. "The integrity of our entire testing system has been called into question. Instead of reviewing for the _Kawarimi_ final, we will be repeating the _Henge_ Final. Line up, now!"

There were noises of protest from his students, but no one dared to speak up against Iruka at that moment. Several of them gave Naruto a kick or a dirty look as they passed, but the boy was so focused on his ear he hardly noticed.

The results were mostly the same as the day before, and Iruka hadn't really planned on changing any grades anyway, unless someone who failed managed to pass. Then Naruto's turn came up.

 _Okay, Iruka-sensei, I don't think this ear is ever gonna heal. I'll get you back if it kills me._ He stood in front of Iruka and glanced at Sasuke as he walked back to his seat.

"Alright, here goes nothing . . ." Naruto formed the hand seal and focused intently. His Chakra was visibly spinning around him. Iruka wondered what he was doing. Not even Naruto needed this much Chakra for his _Henge_.

" _Oiroke no Jutsu!_ " Smoke and steam surrounded Naruto's form.

 _Oh, he did not just say what I think he did._

The naked woman winking at him and bending down seductively told Iruka that Naruto had said _exactly_ that. Naruto turned back into his natural form. "Ha! How do you like _that,_ Iruka-sensei?! My patented anti-perversion technique!"

Iruka allowed exactly thirty seconds for his mind to reset after what he'd just seen. _How does he even know what that looks like? I need to speak with Ito . . ._

"You _dumbass!_ " he shouted, planting his fist into the top of his student's head. "Under which circumstances, exactly, do you expect to pass with something like that?" Naruto thought Iruka was overreacting, but he couldn't voice this thought before his teacher cut him off again. "You fail, now go back to your seat." Naruto hung his head and marched back to his desk next to Shino. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Ino, please perform the technique to the best of your abilities." Ino didn't appear more than slightly traumatized, and was able to complete the _Henge_ with the same perfection as the day before.

Shino turned to look at the dejected boy. "Naruto-san, I can now say, without improper assumption, that you are a moron."

"Thanks, Shino!" said Naruto, turning a bright grin to the bug user. "I thought a little prank might improve everyone's mood for having to repeat the _Henge_ test."

Shino, appearing a little bit uncertain, turned away from the smiling boy. " . . . Yes, Naruto-san. You're . . . welcome." He didn't have time to think about the boy's mood swing.

"Well," said Iruka. "Now that that unpleasantness is over, let's move on to the _Kawarimi_ final. Follow me please." He lead them out to the training field again and had them line up alphabetically. "For this final, timing is everything. I'll be throwing a blunted kunai at you. Your job is to make me think I've hit you, then replace yourself with the log behind me." Iruka gestured to a log with several knots on it. "First, Aburame Shino . . ."

A couple of kids failed this test. Apparently, _Kawarimi_ was the most difficult technique for some students.

"Hyuuga Hinata." The girl stepped forward, a nervous look on her face. Naruto had seen her practicing the _Jutsu_ once after class. She was _really_ good at it. She had no reason to be nervous. But Naruto had a knack for sniffing out oddities as well as patterns, and her distinctive Hyuuga eyes drifted to Iruka's kunai, not the log.

 _She's worried about the knife._ Naruto would have told her not to worry, but Iruka threw the kunai. Hinata flinched when she should have used the _Jutsu._ The kunai bounced harmlessly off of her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Hinata, but you fail." The girl dropped her eyes to her feet and shuffled to the growing crowd of students. A darker part of Naruto's mind noticed that her failure wasn't met with jeers, as his would have been, but he crushed that thought as soon as it appeared. That kind of negativity was exactly the sort of thing he hated the most.

Iruka continued calling names. Five more students failed, but a majority passed. Then, he said, "Uchiha Sasuke." Naruto thought that maybe he didn't like the boy because he always had to go right after him. Iruka threw the kunai. Sasuke let it get so close that it really did look like it pierced his flesh before he substituted himself. In addition to appearing behind Iruka, he placed a hand on the teacher's shoulder before he could turn. "Good job, Sasuke. Pass."

Or maybe it was the smug smirk after all.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto couldn't tell if Iruka was still angry with him, but if the force with which he launched the kunai was anything to go by, Naruto was not getting off easy. He let the knife brush the fabric of his jacket as he performed the _Kawarimi_. Unlike other Jutsu, _Kawarimi_ was more like a reflex than anything else. His replacement hadn't been as close as Sasuke's, but it was a lot closer than anyone else allowed it to get.

"Good, Naruto, but too much Chakra again, I could see what you were doing the entire time. Pass." Iruka's clipped tone confirmed that he was still pissed.

 _I'll cross that bridge when I get to it,_ he thought.

"Yamanaka Ino." The blonde girl passed, of course. Naruto wondered if she ever got anything wrong.

Probably not, she had utterly aced everything so far, and made no secret of it.

"And that's the _Kawarimi_. Get ready for the _Taijutsu_ final, everybody." Iruka went inside the Academy, making notes on his clipboard as he went, leaving the students to stretch and warm up.

Naruto rolled his shoulders a couple of times, then stretched his back. Other students were shaking off the cobwebs since the last time they'd had a _Taijutsu_ assessment: Nearly two weeks ago.

Iruka walked out of the Academy trailed by two _Genin_ teams and Mizuki. It was simple to outsource a few D-rank missions for testing Academy students, and it saved Iruka time and energy.

"Alright, everyone!" he said. "Groups of five, pick a _Genin._ I also want a line on me and another on Mizuki." Since _Taijutsu_ fights had a tendency to drag on, Iruka had them all evenly split through the training yard. Hopefully they'd be done by lunch.

Naruto found himself in line with Sakura, Hinata, a thin-looking boy whose name he didn't remember, and Ino. _Great,_ he thought. _I have to listen to Ino brag about her perfection again. At least I get to hang out with Sakura-chan for a little while_.

Mizuki walked up to them and smiled. "Let's do this," he said. "The objective is to land a single hit. If you can manage that, you'll have passed your _Taijutsu_ Final." Naruto was glad he got Mizuki. Iruka probably would have pounded him for this morning, and the _Genin_ looked like they'd rather be anywhere else. Mizuki passed Ino easily. The boy, whose name was actually Daiki, failed. Hinata took a little while to work up the nerve to actually hit Mizuki, but when she did, he grimaced at the pain from her strikes to his pressure points. Even when she wasn't using Chakra, that girl could _hurt_ people.

When Naruto's turn came up, he faced Mizuki with a wide stance. "Get ready Mizuki-sensei! I'm gonna take you down!"

Mizuki laughed affably. "Money where your mouth is, Naruto." The instructor took a standard Academy defensive stance. "Go!"

Naruto surged forward with the extent of his speed. Mizuki easily dodged his haphazard punch. "Close, try again." He stepped back. The examiners weren't supposed to counterattack unless the examinee exposed an unforgivable opening.

Naruto dropped to the ground, resting on his right forearm, and kicked with his left leg. Mizuki caught the kick, and was about to flip Naruto over, when the _Shinobi_ hopeful suddenly slammed his other hand into the ground and spun his whole body around. His other heel came dangerously close to Mizuki's face, but he missed his instructor by a hair's breadth.

" _Really_ good, Naruto. I think you might get me next time." Naruto, emboldened by Mizuki's praise, charged in again. He moved too fast for it to have been exploited by a normal _Genin_ , but Mizuki caught his fist and tapped Naruto's open chest. "I'm sorry, Naruto, but it wasn't your lucky day. You fail."

The sudden turnaround sent Naruto reeling."What! But I had you!"

Mizuki just shook his head.

"Don't worry. If you do well after lunch and tomorrow, you'll still pass."

"Yeah . . ."

Mizuki grinned at the downcast boy. "Besides, you almost had me that second time. That wasn't in the Academy curriculum, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Street fight. I ran out of limbs to hit a guy with, so I improvised."

"Well, you're not going to let one grade keep you from becoming Hokage, are you?"

"Hell no, Mizuki-sensei. I'll pass whatever you try to throw at me tomorrow!"

"That's the spirit." Mizuki tousled Naruto's hair. "We'll make a _Shinobi_ out of you yet."

"Not likely," said Sakura. "Out of the way, Naruto." Naruto stepped off to the side, next to Ino and Hinata.

"Huh. And I thought if you were going to pass anything, it'd be _Taijutsu_ ," said Ino. "Well, you have always been unpredictable."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto turned away from Sakura's match to glare at the smug blonde girl.

"It means I thought that always getting paired with Sasuke-kun would've helped your dismal technique."

That was another reason Naruto didn't get along with Ino, in addition to her general dismissal of his existence. She was always the odd one out when Iruka formed pairs, but if Naruto weren't in the class, she'd be paired with Sasuke instead.

Apparently, she held that against him. "Hey, it's not like I want to get stuck with Sasuke all the time."

Ino wasn't listening to him. She was looking wistfully across the field at the object of her affections.

He was sparring with one of the _Genin_ , a tall, strong-looking boy with broad shoulders and a snarl on his face. The older boy looked down at Sasuke. "Alright, punk, let's see how easy I have to take it with you."

"Don't worry about holding back." Sasuke smirked at the _Genin._

"Whatever, let's go." The _Genin_ waved him on.

The fight didn't even last ten seconds. Sasuke had the _Genin_ pinned against the sandy training circle almost as soon as he started.

"He's _soooo_ cool," said Ino. Naruto wasn't entirely sure what had just happened.

"Argh! A'ight, lemme go, you pass. Let. Me. Go." Sasuke released the struggling _Genin_. Wordlessly, he walked back to the sidelines.

"Sakura, you need to pay more attention to your surroundings. You fail," said Mizuki. He had a hand resting on Sakura's shoulder.

"W-what?" Sakura was shocked. She had been too caught up in watching Sasuke knock that _Genin_ around.

"You got distracted. It was a fail, I'm sorry." Mizuki walked out of the field, returning to Iruka's side. He reported his results to the other _Chunin_ instructor, and went back inside.

It was another minute before all of the other _Genin_ finished. Naruto couldn't abide the look on Sakura's face, so he went to try and console her..

"Hey, Sakura-chan." The girl glared at him.

"Naruto, I am not in the mood for your shit. Go away."

Naruto's smile fell. "It's okay to fail every now and then, you know? I failed too. Usually when that happens I ju-"

"Yeah, well, you're a good-for-nothing slacker. It's expected of you. I'm actually trying to make something of myself, here. I have a family's pride to uphold, unlike you. Just because you can do whatever you want doesn't mean everyone else can. Now, would you stop trying to associate with me? I don't want to get dirt on my dress." Sakura pushed past him and walked inside.

Naruto had to stop walking for a minute and wonder if he had ever felt so devalued. "Sakura-chan . . ."

"Naruto, come on. It's lunchtime." Iruka poked his head out of the door. "You owe me half an hour on the Monument. Anything you don't get now, you have to do later."

"Sure." Naruto felt like he was in a daze. Had she really just said that?

Iruka led him away with some trepidation. The boy was obviously thinking about something. "Naruto, were you bothering Sakura? She didn't hit you, did she?" He had seen the girl storming through the doors before he went back to find Naruto. Allegedly, he was going to make sure Naruto didn't skip out, but Iruka really just wanted to talk to the boy about his behavior once he became a _Shinobi_.

"No, Iruka-sensei. She didn't hit me."

"I guess that's an improvement, then, huh?" Iruka laughed.

Naruto didn't. "If you say so, sensei."

 **. . .**

Sakura sat in the courtyard of the Academy, chewing idly on the lunch her mother had packed.

She was alone, as Ino had taken all of their mutual friends when Sakura had estranged herself from her, but it wasn't the solitude that was bothering her.

No, it was something she'd rather not be wasting her time thinking about. That _Dobe._ Naruto. She wondered if she'd gone too far. Usually the boy would put up with everything that happened to him with no complaints, but after she'd stopped him from asking her out _again,_ he looked . . . well, she thought he looked a little bit like a kicked puppy. He just annoyed her so much, with all of his apparent free time. He just seemed like a wasteful person to her.

 _No way._ She couldn't actually be worried about alienating Naruto. She'd love nothing more than for the boy to just leave her alone forever. Still, going over her words in her head, that was probably the harshest she'd ever been to him.

 _Whatever, it's not like I'm ever going to have to talk to him again after I graduate._ She turned her thoughts away from the dead-last and occupied herself with staring at Sasuke as he tried to disappear into a corner.

Ino laughed along with her friends as they talked about something superfluous. She wasn't really sure what the subject was, but that was okay as long as the conversation kept flowing.

She flipped the hair out of her eyes and looked over at Sakura. The girl was eating by herself, and she looked pretty miserable. As often as Ino would say she didn't care about what Sakura did, she really was worried about her. After she had broken off their friendship, Sakura had almost become a recluse, focusing entirely on graduating from the academy and impressing Sasuke.

Ino was doing the same thing, sure, but at least she maintained a social life while she was at it.

"Ino-chan?"

She was snapped out of her musings on her one-time friend by Natsumi, who was tapping her shoulder. "What?"

"We're playing 'Anyone but Sasuke-kun.' Ami asked if you'd go out with Shikamaru."

"Hell no! My turn?"

"Yep!"

"Alright . . ." Ino rubbed her hands together with a sinister grin on her face.

Sasuke tried to keep the disdainful expression off of his face, he really did, but his classmates made even that task difficult. The current object of his ire was a gaggle of girls led by one Yamanaka Ino.

 _What do these girls think they're doing? If any of them even make it through graduation, they won't have Ino to bail them out in the field. Half of them wouldn't last ten seconds._

It was a dark day indeed, when Sasuke admitted he'd rather have Haruno Sakura watching his back.

The group laughed uproariously at something "clever" that Ino had said, and then they went back to gossiping. The fact that Ino, of all people, was currently above him in his class standings was infuriating enough, but that she got there while still associating with such people made him livid.

The thought that he might have been jealous of her for having friends never even crossed his mind.

 **. . .**

Naruto pulled himself up onto the First's head. Lunch was almost over, and he had managed to get Hashirama nearly clean again.

"And you'll finish up after school. I don't care how long it takes," said Iruka.

"You bet, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto's stunned reverie had abated. He had almost entirely forgotten Sakura's harsh words. The hard work had been cathartic for him.

Iruka laughed, glad that Naruto had gotten over whatever had him in such a funk. He didn't seem willing to talk about it, so Iruka hadn't pushed him.

"Come on, sensei! We've gotta get back to class or else we'll be _late_." Naruto took off at a sprint towards the Academy. Iruka watched the boy run for a few seconds, then raised his hands into a seal.

"Oh, yes, Naruto. You will be late, and I'll have something to look forward to." With that, he disappeared in a blast of smoke characteristic of the _Shunshin no Jutsu._

Naruto made good time in getting to the academy. He almost wasn't late. Still confident that Iruka was right behind him, Naruto charged into the classroom.

Only to find Iruka sitting at his desk, taking roll for their after-lunch classes.

"And Naruto, tardy as usual," he said.

"Wha- What!? But you were right behind me!"

"Nope. you were imagining things. Come on, take your seat." Iruka stifled his giggle, and Naruto knew something was off, but he took his seat nonetheless.

"The last thing for today is the _Bukijutsu_ Final. Please follow me to the target yard. Mizuki has already set up the targets, so once we get there I want you all to line up in rows of five . . ." Naruto stopped listening to what Iruka was saying. It had been the same for every test. He wondered how his teacher had gotten to class before him.

His stomach growled in protest.

He had been forced to work through his entire lunch break, and he hadn't gotten a bite to eat since before he'd left his apartment at four in the morning to paint the Monument. He had a ration bar in his tool pouch, but it wouldn't be worth it to just waste the thing right now.

What time had he gone to sleep last night? It must have been after midnight, and he'd gotten up so early . . . Naruto quickly came to the conclusion that a nap was in order. He'd slept in class before, he'd be fine.

 _Wait, no. Tests, graduation, Hokage!_ Naruto shook his head and tried to clear the cobwebs as the urge to sleep overwhelmed him again.

 _No, no. I can't sleep here._ Naruto raised his hand to pinch his arm, but every sense in his body was telling him that was a _bad idea_. He really did deserve a quick nap, after all. What was the harm? Iruka would wake him up if anything important happened.

Naruto let his head rest on his desk.

Iruka grimaced. _Of course he'd be the first one to fail._ Naruto _sucked_ with _Genjutsu._

Sakura noticed and dispelled his technique quietly and efficiently. Iruka almost hadn't detected her doing it. Ino broke it a second later, followed by Sasuke and Shino. Kiba fell asleep, Shikamaru had been asleep when he weaved the _Genjutsu_ , but now the boy was awake and looking at him intently.

Choji's head hitting the desk made Hinata jolt up and activate her _Byakugan_. A minority of his students managed to break the technique, but eventually they were all either asleep or staring at him.

"Congratulations," he said quietly. "Those few of you that passed have gotten another ten minutes to practice your throws. Please _quietly_ head out to the target field. Mizuki will direct you from there." Those that weren't snoozing got up and left. Iruka walked up the rows, taking names of students who had failed.

Once he was done, he walked back to the front of his class. Iruka had greatly enjoyed his little prank on Naruto earlier, and it had awakened an itch that he hadn't scratched since he'd become a _Chunin._

"Wake up! The village is under attack and you're all _dead_!" Almost as a single entity, the entire class leapt into action. Standing up and fumbling for weaponry.

"Congratulations, you've all failed your _Genjutsu_ Final. Head out to the targets and we'll see if you guys can still salvage your grade."

Iruka led the groggy students outside, and had the rest of his class form a single line.

"One at a time, everybody. Mizuki and I will be watching you closely."

Naruto frowned at his teacher. He seemed happier than he had been, so that was good. Naruto didn't even bother watching the other kids go through their throws. He just waited for Iruka to call his name and shuffled his feet up to the post.

"Naruto, if you fail here, you might never become Hokage." Iruka wanted to pat himself on the back after seeing Naruto stand up straight and assume his stance. For a moment, Iruka was worried he'd try the _Susuki Hoshi Nage_ again, but all he did was launch them from his basic stance and sink all of his kunai. Three of his shuriken also connected, but only two of them were worth extra credit. "Good job. You pass."

"Thanks . . ." Naruto looked at him through half-lidded eyes. "I'mma go sleep 'gain."

Iruka shook his head and gestured for Ino to take her place. He hadn't expected that _Genjutsu_ to still be affecting Naruto; he was pretty sure he'd deactivated it.

It would wear off in a minute anyway. That was the joy of the joint _Gen-_ and _Bukijutsu_ Final: if you failed the first one, you had to deal with it in the second one.

Nobody ever said _Shinobi_ life was fair.

After he dismissed his students, he went to find Naruto and drag him back to the Monument.

"But I'm tired . . ." Iruka frowned and made sure he had released the _Genjutsu._

 _How could something like that slip my mind?_ He tapped Naruto on the forehead. There was a pulse as the Chakra on his head dispersed.

"Woah! Holy shit, I'm awake!" Naruto spun to face Iruka. "What the hell, Iruka-sensei?"

"Um, sorry about that, Naruto. Come one, you still need to clean the Monument."

"Yeah, yeah . . ." They slowly climbed the mountain path.

Naruto had left the rope up there from when he'd originally painted it that morning, so he just tossed himself over the side and got to work. Iruka made himself comfortable on the head of the Third.

He pulled a scroll out of his tool pouch and studied it intently. Naruto wasn't sure what he was doing, and he didn't really care. He wasn't eager to see the prank erased. It had been one of his best.

Iruka called down to him. "Naruto, I'm not letting you leave until it's all gone. I will keep you here all night unless you hurry up."

Naruto looked into the stone eye of Tobirama Senju.

"So what? It's not like anyone will miss me." Sakura's words came back to him. "I don't have anyone who'll actually care that I did this." Naruto dropped his eyes away from Iruka. "Che. I thought maybe _someone_ would think it was pretty cool that I could do something like this, but . . ."

Was that what had been bothering him? Iruka wasn't a therapist, but he could teach like no other. "Naruto, who are the Hokage?"

Naruto scrunched his nose at Iruka's question. "The Hokage's the strongest _Shinobi_ in the village. Everyone respects him and no one calls _him_ _Dobe_."

"Yes, but why?"

"Because . . . he's strong?"

"Nope. Guess again." Naruto thought about each of the faces he looked at every morning. Hashirama had died shortly after his legendary battle with Uchiha Madara to save the village, Tobirama had sacrificed himself for the sake of the Third and his teammates . . . Naruto was beginning to find the pattern. "The Fourth sacrificed himself to kill the _Kyuubi,_ and the Third's still alive, but he's devoted his entire life to the village. He could have retired twenty years ago. He _did_ retire twenty years ago."

Iruka nodded at his student. "You're getting it."

"So, the Hokage has to be someone willing to live and die for the village?"

Iruka just smiled sadly. "Yeah. The Hokage is certainly the strongest, but he's also willing to sacrifice himself ten times over for any single villager. Everyone in the village is like family to him, you could say. That's why no one was impressed with what you did today. It was disrespectful towards the four greatest men the village has ever produced."

"So, when I say I want to be Hokage . . ."

"Most people see it as a silly kid making a bad joke." Iruka looked at Naruto's dejected expression. "Hey, Naruto, if you finish quickly, I'll take you to get some ramen later."

Naruto's eyes lit up, and Iruka knew he'd said the right thing. "Only four bowls, though. The rest is out of your own pocket."

"Deal!"

Naruto had never worked so fast in his life. Ramen with Iruka was a rare thing. The last time they'd gone had been his twelfth birthday.

"There, done." Naruto dropped his bucket and washrag in front of Iruka.

"That took you . . . two hours. I'm impressed."

"Of course you are. I'm still incredible, even if I'm just cleaning up after myself."

"Well, let's go make Ichiraku-san's day, shall we?"

Iruka had never seen Naruto eat as fast as he had that night. Ichiraku Teuchi had a gleam in his eye that only a man made rich could achieve. Ayame, Teuchi's daughter, handed Naruto another bowl. His third.

"Iruka-sensei."

Iruka looked at his student. "Yeah, Naruto?"

"Thanks for the ramen. You've given me a lot to think about." Naruto got up from his barstool and lifted the flaps leading out to the street. "I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, the boy left in the direction of his home. Ayame stared at the unfinished bowl of ramen in open astonishment. "What did you say to him?" she said.

"I told him about what it meant to be Hokage."

Teuchi turned away from where he was cleaning his pots to stare at Iruka. "What, like that "Will of Fire" thing that _Sandaime-sama_ was telling him about a few years ago?"

"Something like that. It seemed to hit him particularly hard. I think he might be reconsidering trying for that lofty position."

Ayame frowned, Teuchi just shook his head. Iruka shrugged and payed the bill, wondering if it had been the right time to tell Naruto about all of that.

 **. . .**

Sleep eluded Naruto that night. He tried everything from ramen to counting toads, and he just couldn't keep his eyes closed.

" _The Hokage is willing to give his life ten times over for the sake of any villager."_ Naruto rolled over, banishing the shade of Iruka's words. Was he willing to die for anyone, really? There were Teuchi and Ayame, he supposed. Even more than the Third and Iruka, they had made his life bearable. Iruka had quickly become more than just a teacher who didn't hate him, but would he really die for the man?

Naruto didn't know.

" _I have a family's pride to uphold, unlike you. Just because you can do whatever you want doesn't mean everyone else can."_ Sakura's words had stung the most, even if he'd been able to convince Iruka that nothing was wrong, her stinging remark had occupied his thoughts all day long, and not in the way they usually did.

 _Maybe I'm not right to be Hokage. I don't have anyone to care for, and no one cares for me, either._

It was well into the early hours of his final day at the Academy when sleep found Naruto.

 **. . .**

 **Author's Note:** If you were seething and/or cheering at Sakura's general dickishness in this chapter, I have some bad news for you: I don't like character bashing. She said what she said because it's not far off from how she actually views him. Remember in like, Episode 1, when she promises to be nicer to him? Yeah, I have a feeling she was even worse before that.

I don't think any character is truly unsalvageable. Keep that in mind as you read and remember that character development is a thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

Hey, guys. Thanks for all of views. I didn't expect that many so soon, or at all, for that matter. I'm not as confident about this chapter as I was about my first two, so I'm really looking for feedback. Did you like it? Or does it suck, like, a lot? Also, I like to think my grammar is pretty solid, but I struggle with consistency sometimes. If you see something unforgivably bad, let me know.

HurricaneShippu: Thanks for the honest feedback, I've taken your thoughts into consideration. I don't like retconning my stuff, but I know where you're coming from with the cliches. I'm gonna try and avoid as many of those as possible.

 **. . .**

Ch.3 FAIL!

Naruto fiddled with his goggles as he slumped over in his desk. One of the lenses could be focused like a telescope. He'd had the goggles since his eleventh birthday, and he'd only discovered the adjustable lens in the last five hours.

Naruto wasn't actually sure if it was five hours ago, but he was a little fuzzy on the details. His mind was still crowded with doubts about his dream to become Hokage, but, like a good _Shinobi_ , he was able to push them aside once Iruka arrived.

"Good morning, everyone!" said Iruka. His broad smile and bright eyes told Naruto a different story than it did to his classmates. Caffeine.

Iruka hadn't slept last night either. _Good, if I'm gonna suffer, then so is he._

"Follow me and we'll get started on the Concealment Final." Iruka walked out of the room without so much as another glance. Naruto got up to follow. He was actually excited for the Concealment test. It was by far his greatest skill.

There was a small forest behind the Academy, between it and the mountain. Access was normally blocked off by a locked-up chain link fence. Iruka held the lock in his hands. He yawned loudly before he realized that his students were approaching him, He abruptly straightened his posture.

"Well, go hide yourselves. Mizuki will be along in a minute or so to hunt you down. Anyone found by either me or Mizuki after thirty minutes of general patrol will fail. The test will last for forty-five minutes. In the field, you'll be expected to hide for a lot longer than that, so try and find a comfortable sitting position." Iruka turned his back on his students and the forest. Naruto's classmates wasted no time in trying to find a suitable hiding spot.

Naruto considered how he was going to hide from his instructors. He could turn into a leaf, or a squirrel. Or . . . he chuckled.

"I've got a full minute, right?"

"Fifty seconds, now, Naruto. Get moving."

"Woohoo!" Naruto took off into the trees. The forest was incredibly diverse, as there were pathways, bushes, old growth, and new growth. Even a creek or two passed through it.

He passed Kiba, who had Akamaru marking the area, laying a false trail, and Choji, who was failing at disguising himself as a small boulder.

When Naruto finally found the place he wanted to land, he could hear Iruka calling, "Time's up! The forty-five minutes begin now!"

"Shit." Naruto quickly shed his orange jacket and sandals before diving into the creek, bringing his coat with him. He left the sandals on the shore, facing the water. He found a patch of river weeds and put his jacket amongst them in such a way that it would look like he was using them for camouflage, then he kicked off the bottom and surfaced.

He could hear Iruka and Mizuki talking, and they were quickly coming in his direction. _Henge no Jutsu!_ His form shifted to that of a squirrel, and he sprinted up the bank.

Iruka looked right at him, and Naruto was certain that he was hosed, until Mizuki pointed towards the treeline. "I definitely felt someone using Chakra over there. Too much to be a Henge."

"Right, I'll check it out. You see if you can find what caused that first disturbance." Iruka looked away from him, and Naruto was no longer frozen. He burst onto motion, sprinting as fast as his legs would carry him.

 **. . .**

Sasuke exhaled slowly as Iruka and Mizuki poked around his hiding place. He had been following Ino, but then that other idiot girl had used a _Jutsu_ to get herself to the top of a tree. After that, Naruto had come by and used a _Henge_. That had put Iruka right on top of the roots he was hiding in until he'd substituted with that girl in her tree.

Ami, he thought her name was, had been so confused when Iruka failed her, and if Sasuke wasn't desperately trying to erase every trace of his existence, he would have been amused. Using a _Kawarimi_ on another living thing was complicated, and it often left the victim a little bit nauseated. Iruka would know, but he wouldn't know who had done it, or where they had done it from. She'd had a good hiding place near the top of the tree. Only a bird could see him from here.

Sasuke had already dropped several strands of his hair on a false trail leading away from him, but Iruka was crafty. He needed to get out of the area.

Iruka was about to start searching the treetops when Mizuki spoke up. "Hey, are those sandals on the riverbank?"

"No way was he that absent-minded. Those are Naruto's. Let's go get him." The two _Chunin_ hopped down towards the river and Sasuke released the breath he forgot he'd been holding. The tree was safe for now, and he'd have to be stupid to try moving after he'd already been passed over.

 **. . .**

Naruto started moving as soon as Iruka had fallen for his decoy.. He had to get back to the gate. His plan still had a chance of working.

Usually, when one was hiding, it was best to stay in one spot. Naruto knew that Iruka knew that, so he was just going to change the rules. If he could keep a consistent distance from both of his seekers, then he could remain undetected the entire time.

If it were anyone but Iruka, he was certain that he could just use his conventional camouflage techniques, but that man was a bloodhound when it came to finding him.

The trick would be to avoid using too much Chakra. Any more than the minimum required for a _Henge_ , and he'd be discovered. That, and maintaining a transformation for long periods of time was a pain, he just hoped he didn't have to turn into something without a pulse; those were the worst.

Whether Naruto wanted to be Hokage or not, he still wasn't sure. He was sure of one thing, though.

He'd outlast this stupid test, he'd impress everyone, and he'd be a step closer to the universal acknowledgement that he craved.

 **. . .**

Ino resisted the reflex to scream as an arm shot into the water not two feet away from her hiding place. She almost lost the reed she was breathing through. The appendage retreated, holding Naruto's bright orange jacket. The _Dobe_ had put it there just seconds after Ino had finished her makeshift breathing apparatus.

He hadn't noticed her, and he looked like he was in a hurry. She had sensed his Chakra discharge a minute or two before Mizuki had grabbed his jacket.

She had to thank him, though. Even if he was the whole reason Mizuki was already searching this area. His jacket had totally thrown them off of the minute traces she'd left behind.

From what she could see, Iruka and Mizuki appeared to be arguing over something, but then Iruka raised his voice and Mizuki dropped the subject. Her teachers turned and left, not even bothering to look for another person in the water.

Great, now she could sit and turn into a prune for half an hour. No way was she going the full time. There were slimy _things_ in the water that she'd like to forget she'd ever seen.

 **. . .**

Hinata could see the entire forest from where she was hiding. The large tree that sat in the middle of a clearing near the center of the forest was a natural hiding spot. That was why she had elected to hide under an overhang that was entangled in the roots of a tree on the edge of the clearing. That tree was one of the first places Iruka and Mizuki would look.

In fact, when they inevitably arrived at the large tree, they managed to shake no less than three students out of it.

She had already found most of her classmates with her _Byakugan_ , but the only one she wanted to find, she couldn't.

 _Where on earth did Naruto go?_ It should have been impossible for him to hide from her, but she had no idea where he was. She had been able to follow him right up until she turned her _Byakugan_ off to watch what Iruka and Mizuki were doing at the tree. When she had activated it again, he was simply gone.

It was against the rules to leave the forest. She hoped he hadn't done anything like that, but it was always hard to tell what the excitable blond boy was going to do.

 **. . .**

Sakura knew she wasn't very good at hiding. Mediocre at best, but to have been found out because of her shampoo was just humiliating. She sat next to Ami and watched as a steady stream of students leaked from the forest.

After the weird disturbance by where the river entered the fenced-off area, Iruka and Mizuki had fanned out and gotten over half of the class in the first twenty-five minutes, it was only the "best" of the class left in there for another ten.

Sakura was irritated that she wasn't among them. Her technique had been perfect, but her _goddamn_ shampoo . . .

" _Fuck! What the hell were we thinking?! Next time remember to cover up our scent, dumbass!"_

Sakura shook her head in an attempt to regain control of her thoughts. She'd been having those mood swings more and more lately. Her mother had said it was puberty, but Sakura was almost certain it was something else.

She was just getting comfortable with her back to a training post when she realized something was off.

There was no loud, blond boy screaming about becoming Hokage. _No way._ Naruto hadn't failed yet. _She_ had failed before _Naruto_ , in a test all about being quiet and sitting still.

" _No fucking way . . . we suck."_

 **. . .**

Iruka looked at the group of students gathered by the gate. Over half of his class sat out there, looking into the forest with either frustration, or misery. Hopefully, by the time they were seasoned enough to go on assassination missions, their _Jonin sensei_ would have already taught them the finer parts of staying still.

As a _Chunin,_ he had a pretty good idea of where the rest of his students were hiding, but as an examiner, he was only searching with the same intensity a patrolling _Genin_ would use.

The official thirty minutes required to pass had ended two minutes ago, and he was about to go on another round when a sopping-wet Yamanaka Ino marched up to him.

"Thirty-two minutes is a pass."

"Yes?"

"Lunch starts in ten minutes."

Iruka rubbed his nose. "Correct again."

"Good, I'm going home. See you in forty minutes."

Iruka blinked at the girl as she walked away. "Okay?"

Mizuki appeared out of the brush. He had finished his round; it was Iruka's turn again. After the first twenty minutes, they usually ended up taking turns.

"Was she in the river?" he asked.

"I think so."

"Huh."

"Right, I'm going to go find a couple more." Iruka jumped up to a branch.

 **. . .**

Naruto took that as his queue to head back to the gate. It would be the last place Iruka would go, and hopefully the time limit would have ended by the time he got back. At the moment, he was occupying the form of a rabbit, but he—carefully, Naruto wasn't going to get caught now— changed into a field mouse.

He had noticed that Iruka and Mizuki had taken turns looking for students. He had chosen to stick close to Mizuki, who had no idea that he could physically transform.

The roots he was sitting in were good cover, but Naruto wanted to make an impression, and for that, he needed to be closer to the gate. He slid through the grass, trying to think mousy thoughts and not be picked out by Mizuki.

It was only when he reached the fence, that he realized how much his grey mouse form really stood out against the gravel laid around the base of the fence, and Naruto knew that he could capitalize on that.

With a sigh and a deep breath, he transformed into a brownish, round stone.

Naruto wasn't fully prepared for the strain of transforming into something so small, or so dead. It felt like the breath had been sucked from his lungs, but he was determined to hold onto the form.

If he could last five more minutes, he'd be able to scare the crap out of Iruka and all of his classmates, while impressing them at the same time.

 **. . .**

Iruka finally found Kiba curled up in the roots of a tree. Having Akamaru mark up an area on the other side of the forest had been inspired, but his own camouflage was lacking. "Kiba. Head on back. You've passed."

"Aww, dammit. I was going for the whole time." Kiba jumped up and stretched out. "See ya, Iruka-sensei. Come, Akamaru!" The boy and his dog leapt into the trees with a howl, taking the quick way back. Iruka still counted five missing students: Sasuke, Shino, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Naruto.

He found Shikamaru first; the boy had fallen asleep. His snores alerted Iruka to a small trench dug under the roots of a tree. As a direct result of this, he found Hinata hiding in between the same tree and a rock that created an overhang. It was only visible from a certain angle, and it was pure luck that Iruka had seen it when he was waking Shikamaru. From anywhere else, it just looked like a slight bump in the ground.

That left only Shino, Sasuke, and Naruto. Shino and Sasuke were no surprise. He had seen those boys disappear right before his eyes. Naruto was a different story altogether. He could never stay still for this long. Whenever Iruka was sent out to find him, he would always stumble, if only a little. That was the secret. It wasn't telepathy, or any of the other crazy things Naruto had hypothesized. The boy just couldn't sit still. Naruto wasn't in any of the normal places he liked to hide in, and he hadn't left the area. Iruka would have known, courtesy of a sealing array that warned him every time someone left the forest.

Surprisingly, he found Shino before the other two. He was hiding inside of an old, termite-ridden tree. "Shino." He poked his student on the back of his head.

"Sensei." With that, Shino stood up from the rotted tree he'd had his bugs clear out and started walking back to the gate.

Iruka had about five minutes left, and even his _Chunin_ senses couldn't detect Naruto. A hawk's shriek turned his eyes upwards. He looked up at the circling bird and smiled deviously.

Iruka began climbing the nearest tree that hadn't been chewed on to make Shino's hiding place blend in better. When he reached the top, a quick scan revealed Sasuke resting on a branch just wide enough that he couldn't be seen from below.

"The problem with hiding in the treetops, Sasuke," he said, ignoring the boy's startled jump. "Is that the birds have better eyes than the _Shinobi_."

Sasuke, having recovered his "cool," simply said, "In most cases, Iruka." Then he bowed his head in acceptance and began climbing down the tree.

Iruka was a little bit flustered. Not because of Sasuke, but because the test was over, and Naruto was nowhere in sight. The boy had disappeared without a trace after he'd dropped his sandals and his jacket.

He returned to the crowd of students just behind Sasuke. They all looked up expectantly.

"How'd you do, Sasuke-kun? Did you make it through the time limit?" said Sakura.

Sasuke didn't answer right away, then he said, "No. I only made it forty-three minutes." The awed whispers of his students made Iruka want to shake his head. Forty-three was almost unheard of. The highest score Iruka had ever recorded had been forty-one. His students crowded around Sasuke.

Finally the boy pushed his way back to Iruka. "I wasn't the last one, was I?" Sasuke looked around. "I haven't been challenged to single combat yet. Where's Naruto?" The noise died.

Iruka started laughing. "I don't know," he said. "I couldn't find him."

"He might have left," said Chihiro. "He's always off doing something stupid." Iruka frowned at her.

"Not always, Chihiro." Iruka leaned against the fence, facing the forest. "Some people have a knack for just disappearing sometimes. They make the best assassins." Iruka felt something shift under his foot, and he looked down to see a slightly off-color pebble. _You're kidding me._ He looked up nonchalantly, whistling a tune, then he slowly ground his heel into the rock. There was a shift under his foot.

 **. . .**

 _Ow, ow, ow, ow._ Naruto's whole being was pain. Finally, he decided to just go with it and use _Kawarimi_. He found a leaf sitting loose on a tree branch and replaced his tiny, rock self with it. He had heard what Iruka had said about him being a perfect assassin, and it had made Naruto giddy to be given praise for once. He could have hugged Iruka on the spot.

Still, once a prankster, always a prankster.

His substitution disrupted his _Henge,_ but that just added to the dramatic effect. From where Iruka and the rest of his class was standing, it must have looked like he rose from right out of the branch. He made the most complicated hand seal he could think of, and stood up, waiting for the smoke to disappear.

His figure might have been intimidating, if he were a few feet taller. As it was, he looked ragged and a little bit out of breath. Holding his _Henge_ for even that short time had been truly miserable. He felt like he had been holding his breath for hours.

He looked down on his classmates, feeling like, for once, he was ahead of the game. "Iruka-sensei," he said, gasping only a little. "I found you!"

Iruka huffed at the joke. Every time he was sent to look for Naruto, the boy would claim that he'd been looking for Iruka, and that whatever chaos had been sowed was definitely not his fault.

"Indeed. Congratulations, Naruto."

Naruto jumped down from the tree branch, smiling at his class. "How about that? Pretty cool, huh?"

No one was paying him the slightest bit of attention. They were all walking away, more interested in lunch than Naruto's success.

Iruka patted him on the back. "Hey, think of it this way, did you see the look on their faces when you appeared out of nowhere?"

Naruto wiped some dust from his eye. "Yeah! Especially Sasuke. He looked _soooo_ pissed."

"I'm wondering, though, how did you hide from me for so long?"

"I wasn't hiding from you, I was hiding from Mizuki-sensei. I figured that since you always found me when I did my normal thing, I'd just try moving around a lot."

Iruka frowned. "That might get you killed on a mission later, Naruto."

"I won't do it all the time, just when I'm hiding from you and your telepathy." Naruto grinned, and put his hands behind his head..

"Well, I thought it was pretty cool. But!" Iruka held up a crushed leaf. "I found you first."

"Dammit!" Iruka laughed and Naruto pouted. They went their separate ways for lunch: Iruka to his office, and Naruto back to his apartment. Even if he hadn't been recognized for his excellence yet, the looks on the faces of his classmates hadn't been the usual angered indignity that they sported after a prank. It had been open astonishment.

That lifted his spirits, but has he walked his ramen out to his balcony, he found himself facing the Hokage again. He hadn't been able to look at them that morning, and it was still difficult to meet his own eyes with the Fourth's.

"I don't know what to do, _Yondaime_. I do want to be Hokage, to lead this village and be recognized, but am I really willing to _die_ for it? I just don't know . . ." He thought about how each of the Hokage—sans the Third—had come to an untimely and gruesome end. Did he really want that?

He tried to imagine what he'd do if Ayame or Sakura, or even Iruka, was in danger, and the only way to save them was for him to die instead. He couldn't. He knew that his ideas of heroically stepping in with a stoic face and accepting death wasn't how he would actually go. In the desensitization classes at the Academy, he had seen images of people dying. It was not noble. There was nothing noble about it. The brave _Shinobi_ who had laid down their lives for their village were rolling on the ground in the blood and . . . less savory bodily fluids, crying in pain, losing their bowel control, and some of the younger ones were calling for their parents.

Naruto couldn't do it. He looked at the face of the Fourth. "How? How did you manage to find the willpower?" All four of the faces on the mountain seemed to close in on him. Brows furrowed in severity.

None of them had an answer, and Naruto knew that if he wanted to be Hokage, he'd have to find one himself.

 **. . .**

After lunch, Iruka started calling them into pairs. Naruto wanted to yell and scream. This was the Cooperation Final, and he was going to be paired with _Sasuke_!

"Sasuke and Naruto." Naruto glared at Sasuke. Sasuke, for his part, returned Naruto's war-face with calculated indifference. _He . . . might actually be harder to read than my damn backpack._ They both stood up and walked out of the room.

"And Ino will be working with Mizuki." The door closed and they started walking towards the exam room. Room 201.

"Sasuke!" Naruto all but yelled. "Don't get in my way!"

"As if, _Dobe._ I'm the one who should be worried." They glared daggers at one another all the way down the hall and up the stairs. When they entered Room 201, there was another _Chunin_ standing by the door.

"The objective for you two is written down on a piece of paper on the table in the back. don't look at what the other groups are doing, and don't try to cheat. There are a couple of us watching. Remember, if one of you fails, you both do. You have thirty minutes." He ushered them down the line. Naruto saw his other classmates at their workstations. Some were arguing quietly, others were glaring daggers at each other, and some were getting along just fine.

Their workstation only consisted of their instructions, two blank pieces of paper, and a whole bunch of notecards with different names on them.

"Well?" said Naruto. "Read the instructions!"

Sasuke glared at him, before whispering, "Rule number 1: Do not attempt to verbally communicate with your partner." Sasuke scanned the rest of the paper before scoffing in derision and passing it to Naruto.

Naruto was not as fast of a reader as Sasuke, but he looked over the document as quickly as he could, not wanting to be left behind.

 _Step #1: From this moment on, do not attempt to verbally communicate with your partner._

 _Step #2: You and your partner are to work separately until you have both finished._

 _Step #3: You must arrange the names on the table in proper order without speaking, or showing the other your paper. You will be graded based on the efficiency and practicality of the names on the table. The paper will not reflect your grade._

Naruto noticed the names on the table included "Sarutobi Hiruzen," "Homeless Man," and nearly twenty more after them.

 _Scenario: "Oh no! The village has been overrun with enemy_ Shinobi _, you must organize the evacuation. On your sheet of paper, list the first ten individuals that you would evacuate. Also, list them in order of importance, as supplies in the safe houses could be limited, and some will have to be sacrificed later."_

Naruto already didn't like this test. He looked at the names on the table. Then he listed the first ten he would evacuate. He was about to put the Third at the top, but he remembered what Iruka had said the day before. Finally, he listed the "Civilian Mother and Her Child." He had chosen that one because it was, essentially, saving two lives with one card.

Sasuke was waiting for him. Apparently he hadn't even had to think about it. They nodded at each other, and then started arranging the cards.

It was not a good sign when they both reached for different cards. Sasuke grabbed "Sarutobi Hiruzen", and Naruto picked up the "Civilian Mother and Her Child."

 _Oh, shit._ Well, just because Sasuke was wrong didn't mean he was going to fail this test. Naruto had learned just like everyone else that they were obligated to protect the Hokage in any emergency, but that wasn't what the question was about. It was about choosing who would survive to rebuild the village.

After hearing what Iruka had said about the Hokage, Naruto was sure they'd have to drag the Third's dead body out of the rubble before he'd leave a single person behind.

Sasuke was just as stubborn. He insisted on placing Sarutobi's card first. Naruto crossed his arms into an _X_ shape and gave Sasuke the bird.

They spent half an hour locked in their epic battle of wills. Each time Sasuke placed the Hokage's card at the top, Naruto would remove it and replace it with his own. It was only when Iruka walked through the door that Naruto realized their mistake.

He had failed. Sasuke did too, but he hadn't been betting his entire grade on this test. All that was left was the _Bunshin,_ and Naruto didn't like his odds on that one. Still, that would be the deciding factor.

Iruka thanked the other _Chunin_ for watching his students, then he went to each station and marked down a pass or a fail. Naruto hung his head and Sasuke sneered at him.

"Damnit, _Dobe._ Next time just go with what I say. What were you thinking? The Hokage's safety must be prioritized above all."

"Bullshit," said Naruto. "The priority has to be the innocents. Those who can't defend themselves."

"No way. It's right there in the damn textbook. The Hokage is the most important man in the village."

Naruto was about to school the other boy, but he was interrupted.

"Ah, I see you guys got the "Evacuation" test. I myself never liked that one." Iruka marked the fail nonchalantly. He didn't have much sympathy for students who failed his Cooperation Final. Teamwork was the basis of 90% of a _Shinobi's_ success. Those who couldn't figure it out . . . never went far.

"Alright, everyone, please go back to our classroom. We'll do the _Bunshin_ test and get on with Graduation."

 **. . .**

Iruka and Mizuki sat behind the large table that held a batch of brand-new forehead protectors _._ Sasuke had, of course, managed to produce three perfect clones. Naruto walked into the room with all the swagger of a man on death row.

"Okay, Naruto. Let's see at least one good _Bunshin."_ Naruto nodded and formed the Ram hand sign.

Everything depended on his ability to produce a single clone. With that thought in mind, he focused everything he had on making just one.

" _Bunshin no Jutsu!'_ " When the room cleared of smoke, what was laying next to Naruto could be loosely defined as a clone. If he wanted to convince someone he was dead and drained of all his blood, this clone would do the job wonderfully.

Naruto hung his head and waited for the grade that he knew was coming. It would be the same as the other two times he'd tried to graduate.

"Naruto, I'm sorry, but you fail." Iruka made his mark on the paper. Naruto prepared for the walk of shame as he walked out the door. Everyone else he'd seen leave had a headband. That meant he had been the only one to fail. _And I was so close . . ._

"Wait a minute, Iruka," said Mizuki. "Are you sure we can't pass him? He did make a clone, didn't he?" Naruto's head shot up. He smiled brightly at Mizuki.

"Mizuki, he made one, dead clone. Everyone else made at least two functional clones. He failed the test, and he needed a pass to graduate. I can't change the rules, no matter how much I want to." Iruka shook his head. "I am sorry, Naruto."

Naruto frowned. "Yeah, whatever." He stomped out the door and Iruka hung his head. He couldn't go console Naruto, as he had another student to test. He'd try and find him afterwards.

 **. . .**

Naruto hated the swing. He also loved the swing. It was a place for him to go when he wanted to watch what was going on at the Academy, without necessarily being seen. It was his sanctuary, but also a symbol of every one of his failures, and the loneliness that had permeated his life.

He was watching all of the graduates—everyone but him—with their parents. It was both infuriating and heart wrenching, thinking about all of those happy families and how they would celebrate. He clenched his fist around the report card that had been handed to him as he left the building.

 _Naruto Uzumaki, 12, Fourth-Year Student._

 _Final Grades:_

 _Written Final: 74%, Pass_

 _Henge: Fail_

 _Kawarimi: Pass_

 _Taijutsu: Fail_

 _Bukijutsu: Pass_

 _Genjutsu: Fail_

 _Concealment: Time: 45.00, Pass_

 _Cooperation: Fail_

 _Bunshin: Fail_

 _To the Parent/Guardian of (Uzumaki Naruto)_

 _Because (he) (failed) at least five of (his) final tests, (Uzumaki Naruto) will not be accepted into the_ Shinobi _Program this year._

 _As it was (his) (3rd attempt), (Uzumaki Naruto) (will not) be accepted for another year at the_ Konoha Shinobi Academy. _Please transfer all relevant information to the civilian education center of your choice._

 _Congratulations! Your child, (Uzumaki Naruto), has finished in the top of (his) class in at least one subject. A mark will be made on (his)_ Shinobi _Registration._

 _Honors: (Concealment) Please arrive at least an hour early to the Graduation Ceremony to accept an award._

He had just managed to catch the dark looks form a pair of mothers, before they went back to ignoring him. Why was he always looked down upon? What was the point of his existence, if all he was going to do was fail? _What did I do?_

There were other orphans, and none of them ever received the same looks that had plagued his entire life.

"Naruto." The boy was snapped out of his failure-fueled depressive breakdown by Mizuki.

"Mizuki-sensei. Thanks for trying to let me pass, but it doesn't matter now." Naruto looked back at the ground, trying to ignore the cold eyes of his classmates' parents.

"Oh, but, Naruto . . . what if I told you there might be another way for you to graduate?" That got his attention. Naruto looked back at Mizuki, elated.

"What? There is?! No way, you've gotta let me try, Mizuki-sensei!" he said.

"Easy, there, Naruto. It's a secret test. I can't tell you about it now. Meet me on top of the Academy at nine tonight." Naruto nodded eagerly, his eyes glistening with tears. "And remember to pack all your best gear, everything you've got. This test will be harder than any other."

"Don't worry about that, Mizuki-sensei. As long as I don't have to make a _Bunshin,_ I'll ace it!"

"I'm sure you will, Naruto, considering how well you did on your Concealment Final."

Naruto hopped up off the swing. He had all afternoon to prepare. Certain this was going to be the test of his life, he went back to his apartment, ignorant of Mizuki's satisfied smirk at his back.

 **. . .**

Sakura looked at her report card in terror. She had passed everything but _Taijutsu and Concealment._

Maybe that would be enough. It would certainly help that she had gotten the top spot in _Genjutsu_.

Her parents greeted her outside the Academy's main gate. Usually one of them would show up after school and walk home with her, but today they had both arrived, smiling brightly.

"How'd you do, sweetie?" her mother asked.

"Oh, not bad. I passed all but two of them, and I got the top spot in _Genjutsu_." She tried to sound casual, nonchalant. Maybe they'd forgotten.

"Well, that's great!" Sakura was engulfed in a hug. "Which ones did you fail?"

" _Taijutsu_ and Concealment _. . ."_ _This was it._

"Oh." Her father's disapproving look bore down on her. "Are you sure you're ready, then? I don't want you going out into the field unprepared."

"No, dad. I know I'm ready. You don't have to hold me back." Her father was still a _Genin,_ despite having been in the field for almost twenty years. "I know I'll be fine."

She had to graduate now. If she didn't, not only would she be separated from Sasuke, but Ino would never let her live it down. "Please, dad? I only failed _Taijutsu_ because I got distracted. That won't happen in the field."

"What do you think, Mebuki?" her father's face was severe. He had told her that if she failed even one test, he'd keep her from joining the program.

"I think we should let her try, Kizashi." Sakura would've hugged her mother.

"There isn't a 'try' in the field Mebuki. It's kill or be killed."

" _The fuck does he think we've been doing for the past four years? C'mon, you know we can do it, tell our old man that we'll outrank him inside of a year!"_

"I can do it, dad. I know I'm better than almost everyone else. Just give me a chance!"

If he signed her into the _Shinobi_ Program, that was it. There wouldn't be a way for him to take her out of it. Kizashi stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Alright. Fine. I'll let you try, but the first sign that you can't handle it, and I will have the Hokage retire you." The fact that he had no way of making Hiruzen do any such thing was immaterial. He'd find a way.

He'd let her in because she had begged him, but he'd seen what the true world of _Shinobi_ was, and if it was up to Kizashi, his beautiful, innocent daughter would never be anywhere near a battlefield.

 **. . .**

Ino hummed happily as she walked home. Her report card was tucked inside her tool pouch; she was eager to show it to her parents.

Inoichi would be so excited, and her mother would have a heart attack because "her baby girl was finally an adult."

Yes, It had been a good day for Ino. She was in the top spot for the written exam, as well as the _Henge_ , and _Bunshin_. Apparently, no one else had made four clones, not even Sasuke. Overall, she had the top position in her class. The two directly behind her were Sasuke and Shino. Shino hadn't done as well as either of them in any one subject, but he hadn't failed anything. Sasuke had apparently failed the Cooperation Final, but she knew that was only because he'd been paired with Naruto.

If only Naruto wasn't in the class. She would have been paired up with Sasuke, and she would have impressed him with her amazing analytical mind. They'd have gotten along so well after that; they'd grow up and go on dangerous missions together, then he'd be in mortal peril and she'd sweep out from nowhere and save him. He'd be so grateful that he'd ask her out, and they'd become inseparable. They'd get married and he'd take her in his strong arms and–

She was rudely interrupted by something colliding with her shoulder.

"Sorry, Ino!" said Naruto as he ploughed through the streets. She yelled after him, but the boy was running as though he had a date with Death himself.

Whatever, she'd get him tomor– _Oh, wait. He didn't graduate._ She'd never have to deal with him again. The rumor around the school was that it was the last time he could try and graduate, too. He was just an ordinary civilian child, now.

So why did he look so happy? Ino shook her head. It wasn't her problem, and she had to celebrate with her parents. The graduation ceremony was later that night, and she wanted to be her best for it.

That meant getting her mom to help her into that new dress, which was just impossible to work with on her own . . .

 **. . .**

Mizuki hated formal affairs. All of the children running around in the Academy's gym made him want to kill something.

 _Only a few more hours._ In just a few more hours, he'd have the forbidden scroll from that _idiot_ Naruto, and he could finally get out of this pathetic excuse for a hidden village. The decision to defect had not been hastily made. _Kumogakure_ had made him an offer he would have to be stupid to refuse, however.

The contact had told him they were after two things: the _Byakugan_ and the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing. They'd take either one as tribute, and he'd be allowed into their ranks. Originally, he'd planned to just kidnap Hinata and run for it one day, but two things had gotten in his way.

Iruka Umino and Uchiha Sasuke. He could defeat Iruka, and probably any other _Chunin_ in the village, but that Sasuke kid was a damn freak. Mizuki couldn't hope to get his hands on Hinata when those two were both around.

Then opportunity had presented itself. He had been on the verge of panicking, when Uzumaki Naruto destroyed the record for concealment. Mizuki wasn't sure what the boy was doing, but for forty minutes, he _hadn't_ been in that forest. Then when he appeared in front of Iruka, he looked slightly worse for wear, but otherwise fine. Whatever it was, it was the ultimate infiltration technique.

One of the students that Iruka had passed bounced up to him excitedly. He thought her name was Natsumi, but he couldn't be sure.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi, Mizuki-sensei!" She beamed at him. "I was wondering if you'd like to meet my parents? I know I wouldn't have passed the _Kawarimi_ if not for you and then I wouldn't have graduated. C'mon, please?"

"Yeah, sure." Natsumi grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the corner he had been half-hiding in. If _Kumo_ ever invaded _Konoha,_ he was stabbing this girl first.

As pathetic as Natsumi was, Mizuki decide she deserved praise for putting up with the people she called her parents. Her mother was nearly as fat as the _Daimyo's_ wife, and her father had a rat's face and all the hair of a reptile.

"Ah, and this is the famous Mizuki-sensei? I've heard so many good things about you." The woman was wearing what could have been a nice dress, but had been stretched a few too many sizes.

Mizuki nodded. "I am indeed, although between me and you, Iruka's the far better teacher." Mizuki laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. He tried counting how many chins she had, but they all sort of blended together. "It's nice to meet you, Missus . . .?"

"Oh, you can call me Hitomi."

"It's nice to meet you Hitomi-san." Mizuki needed to get away from these people. He was already having flashbacks to when he and Iruka had scored the infamous "Tora" mission as _Genin._

"I'm Yuuta. A pleasure to finally meet you. Natsumi would always tell us what a great teacher you were." Mizuki smiled and nodded. He shook hands with the man.

Once he had separated himself from the man's clammy paw, Hitomi leaned in conspiratorially. "Well, if you ever feel like you need a break from all these children, look me up." She winked at him when Yuuta looked at something that caught his attention.

Mizuki was somehow capable of suppressing his gag reflex. It was time to go. "Well, thank you for the introductions. I'm sorry, but I must excuse myself." He inclined his head towards the restroom.

"Oh, of course." It was ten years of _Shinobi_ professionalism that kept Mizuki from sprinting away.

 _So help me, I'm going to go on a rampage. Is it eight thirty yet?_ Mizuki washed his hands and face. He wouldn't admit it, but he was nervous. _Konoha_ had been his home since the day he was born. He knew what the _Shinobi_ around here were capable of. He needed to find a clock.

Making sure to avoid Natsumi and her mother, Mizuki found his way to the other side of the gym. He found Iruka sitting against the wall, looking over a scroll.

" _Ryo_ for your thoughts?" Mizuki slid down next to Iruka. The other _Chunin_ rubbed the scar on his nose, as he always did when nervous, and chuckled.

"It's these team assignments. I can't figure them out." Mizuki glanced at the scribbles on Iruka's scroll. Most of the first few teams were scratched out. He noticed that all of them had Naruto written in somewhere. There were only a couple of other ideas written down.

"You're really bummed about him not passing, huh?"

"Yeah. I really thought he was gonna do it this time." Iruka hung his head. "All over a stupid _Bunshin._ You know I haven't used the _Bunshin_ since I graduated?"

Mizuki looked around. "Neither have I," he said. "It's pretty stupid, but the _Bunshin_ wasn't the only one he failed."

"Yeah . . ." Iruka rubbed his nose again. "It's unfortunate."

"Hey, it's supposed to be a party, Iruka. _Your_ party. Don't focus so much on Naruto. He's a tough little guy, I think he'll be fine. You're neglecting your other students."

Iruka laughed. "You're right, Mizuki." Mizuki stood up and offered a hand to Iruka.

"Let's go celebrate for another half an hour. Besides, if I have to deal with any more parents, I might puke. That's your job."

Iruka couldn't stop himself from chuckling at his friend, then he switched to his teacher voice. "Now Mizuki-kun, remember to play nice." They both laughed and went to find trouble to stir up. It was just like years past, except Tsubaki wasn't with them, and Mizuki wouldn't be on friendly terms with Iruka after tonight.

 **. . .**

 **Author's Note:**

Out of all the new tests I wrote, I was the least certain about Cooperation. It's mentioned in the wiki and the databooks (I'm pretty sure) that it's something they score. I only noticed this because it was the only thing Sasuke didn't do well on. I fiddled with it for a while, but it seems like that's how a situation like that would go down: Sasuke doing the proper thing and Naruto doing the right thing. That happens a lot and it's kind of a fun dynamic. I thought it felt a bit too much like the _Chunin_ Exams, or something. I dunno.

Next chapter's already written, but I'm still gonna wait a week because I like being ahead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Hello, everybody. Confession time. This chapter was originally written as part of chapter 3. That's like, thirty-seven pages all in all. I want to know if you guys prefer shorter chapters (5-8K words), or longer ones. Time isn't really an issue. I'll still probably have weekly updates, but the proofreading might not be done as well. Either way, I'll leave it up to you.

As for the story, it always bothered me that Mizuki and Iruka were _Chunin_ , but their showing was so weak. In part one, Iruka probably would've been destroyed in a fight with Neiji or even Naruto by the time the _Chunin_ Exams came around. That's just my opinion, though. I've expanded the scene in the forest probably more than I should have, but it kind of wrote itself. More bits in here that are AU, I guess.

Since Ino was brought up, I'll just say that she's fun for me to write, and remind everyone that any sort of romances aren't likely until after the timeskip. I'm also going to be giving a lot more focus to everyone. Like Kurenai, for example. She doesn't really even have a character arc. It's just BOOM, Asuma's baby momma, and she's never heard from again unless Shikamaru needs to angst. As for team standings, you can consider Iruka to be a metaphor about my own indecision. I have a few teams in mind, but I want them to be balanced overall.

 **. . .**

Chapter 4: Resolve

Naruto sat on the roof of the Academy, watching the last of his former classmates leave with their parents. They filtered out into the village like marching ants, each one going to their own private party, or just going back home.

He had seen everyone leave, and he noticed that Sasuke hadn't even bothered to show up. Naruto kind of understood why. As an orphan, watching all of these happy families was painful enough. He imagined Sasuke would have it worse, considering that all of it had been taken from him.

"Naruto." Mizuki was standing right behind him. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, Yeah!" Naruto jumped up and ran to Mizuki. "C'mon, tell me about it, I say! What do I gotta do?"

"First, calm down." Naruto stopped moving around. "Now, you're going to sneak into the Hokage's office and take a certain scroll. The one you need to find has "Forbidden" written on the cover, it should be easy to spot. Last time I saw it the Hokage had it in a display case, right above his bookshelf. Got it?"

"Yeah, but is this really okay? I mean, stealing from the Hokage . . ." Even Naruto had never broken that barrier before. It was a matter of trust, and Naruto wasn't just going to steal from his village's leader.

"Naruto, this is a test. Everything is staged. Now, once you get the scroll, I want you to head to the old shack that's just outside the North Gate. I'll meet you there in three hours. I want you to try and learn a technique from the scroll while you're waiting, okay? If you can manage that, Iruka and I will pass you. Promise."

"Awesome. But, what do I do if the Hokage catches me?"

Mizuki smiled reassuringly. "If he sees you, treat it just like any other mission. He's in on it, and will react accordingly. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm gonna get started right away." Naruto leaped off of the Academy's roof. It only took him a few seconds to get to the Hokage building. He noticed that the _Chunin_ on duty was just locking up for the night.

 _Good, I'll wait until the building's cleared and start on the second story window that Jiji's assistant always leaves open._ Naruto crept along the roof of a smaller adjoining building before he reached the open window. There was still light spilling out, so he waited.

Two minutes later, the light was off and he heard a door close inside.

 _Perfect._

Mizuki had warned him to bring all of his tools, and he had remembered his lock picking kit. Naruto was pretty handy with them, and it was preferable to just destroying the lock with a kunai.

What could he say? He had to get into all sorts of places—among other things—for his pranks. He pulled out his tension wrench and selected a three-ridge rake. It only took him a few seconds to line up the pins, and then he was inside. He scanned the hallways; they were dark and empty.

Where were the _Chunin_ on duty? He crept through the hallway until he reached a break room with the light on and cigarette smoke leaking from the door. He could hear the raucous laughter from inside. _Oh, there they are._ They were playing cards around the table and drinking _sake_.

 _Well, that's disgraceful._ Naruto sped past the door, hoping no one saw his shadow on the wall. When none of the guards came running, Naruto found the staircase and ascended quickly. He knew the third-floor guards would be much more attentive. That was where the Hokage stored all of his important documents.

He transformed into a _Chunin_ he had seen walking out the door. One he recognized as a mission desk attendant with an office on this floor.

"Noboru? I thought you had checked out for the night," said a voice behind him. He turned to face another _Chunin._ It was the one who wore an eyepatch. Naruto remembered that of the _Shinobi_ who hated him, this man was the worst.

 _Ah, crap._ _Think fast, come on._ Weren't Fridays payday?

"Ah . . . I'm sorry, I forgot my paycheck. I left it on my desk."

"Oh, okay." The _Chunin_ reached out and poked him in the forehead. Naruto felt a small burst of Chakra hit him, but it wasn't enough to dispel his _Yang_ -Chakra form.

'Noboru' smiled at the _Chunin._ "Satisfied?"

"Yeah, you can go. Just don't cause trouble, or I'll have to bisect you."

Naruto laughed lightly. "Yes, sir." He rushed away, while trying to make it look like he wasn't rushing. Once he rounded the corner, he let his form fall, just in time to be confronted by Hiruzen Sarutobi himself.

The Hokage, for his part, was curious. "Naruto? What do you need?" Hiruzen had expected to see Naruto after hearing about his failure, but when he hadn't shown up, Hiruzen had just thought the boy had gone home, not wanting to talk.

Naruto was paralyzed. Here he was, trying to pull a fast one on the strongest _Shinobi_ in the village.

"Uh . . . _Oiroke no Jutsu?_ " Naruto was engulfed in smoke, and Hiruzen raised an eyebrow.

Then the old man found himself face-to-face with a naked woman. " _Hokage-samaaaa~_." The girl latched on to his arm. "You won't tell anyone, will you? I hope you can keep a secret, I want us to have _lots_ of them . . ." She bit her lip and looked up at him with puppy-eyes.

For Hiruzen, a man nearly in his eighties, who also happened to be a closet-pervert himself, it was simply too much. The old man fainted on the spot.

"Wow, what a sucker." Naruto looked down at his surrogate grandfather. "Jeez, _Jiji_ , I thought you were cool." He stepped over his grandfather-figure and opened the door to the Hokage's office.

"Okay, let's see . . . Forbidden Scroll, Forbidden Scroll . . ." Naruto found it in a display case, just as Mizuki said. "Now then, I gotta get outta here, fast." He looked at the window, then at the door.

Naruto discovered a new habit that night. Going in-and-out of windows was much more fun than using doors. His feet barely touched the roof of the adjacent building before he was off again. He only had a couple of hours to learn a new _Jutsu_ , and he has going to make the most of them.

The hut that Mizuki described was right where it should have been. Naruto sat himself down and cracked open the large scroll.

 _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_

 _B-rank, supplementary,_ Kinjutsu _(as decreed by the Second Hokage)_

 _Hand seal(s):_ Tora

 _Use: The user pushes their Chakra out through each of their primary points. similar to the_ Bunshin _. Then they must focus on placing it in a location nearby. The different hand seal will mould the Chakra in such a way as to form a solid clone, rather than an illusion. Note: Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu has the same principles, but without the specific location in mind, and using far more Chakra. This technique in its most basic form splits the user's Chakra evenly. If you attempt to use this technique without proper Chakra reserves, it can be fatal._

 _This technique creates a physical manifestation of the user's Chakra. Similar to the_ Bunshin no Jutsu, _however,_ Kage Bunshin _are capable of acting independently and can even use_ Jutsu–

That was all that Naruto read before he started complaining. "Aww, crap. Another clone technique? Maybe this was how Mizuki meant that I could pass." He stood up and formed a Tiger seal. "Let's try this."

His first try actually resulted in a clone better than any he'd ever done with _Bunshin no Jutsu_ , but it was still pretty terrible. It tried to say something, but its speech was garbled.

Naruto let the technique fail. He still had plenty of time.

 **. . .**

The _Shinobi_ of _Konohagakure_ had truly worked themselves into a frenzy this time. Hiruzen sighed as he sent his _Chunin_ out in search of Naruto.

 _What is that boy thinking, stealing something like that?_ He was either pulling a prank, which would be bad, or he wasn't working alone, which was worse. Hiruzen went to his desk and sat down. Scrying would be worth a try.

 _Tomegane no Jutsu._ His crystal ball was suddenly filled with an image of Naruto sitting alone in the forest. He looked extremely frustrated, but not nervous, or even apprehensive about potentially betraying the village. Hiruzen knew that Naruto could hide his true feelings behind a smile, but he wasn't smiling. He was training.

 _What is going on here . . .?_ "Someone fetch me Iruka, please." Noboru jumped up to do it. According to Iwana, Naruto had gotten past him by somehow perfectly impersonating the man. To say that Noboru was pissed would be an understatement.

Iruka would be able to find Naruto, though. He knew the boy better than almost anyone else. Hiruzen looked back onto his crystal ball.

Apparently, Naruto was trying to learn the _Kage Bunshin._ That might have made sense, considering he'd failed based on a _Bunshin_ test, but it was still no reason to steal the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. In Naruto's hands, such a thing would be far too dangerous.

What if it was the _Kyuubi?_ Had the fox somehow gained control? No, Hiruzen didn't have all of the facts, and he wouldn't jump to conclusions.

"Hokage-sama, whatever it is, I'll find him as quickly as I can. Please don't let any of the other _Chunin_ go looking for him, it'll only drive him further into hiding." Hiruzen looked up from his ball at Iruka, who had apparently been working late into the night, if the ink-stained hands were any indication.

"Iruka, do you even know what he's done?" said Hiruzen.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. Noboru told me. I would still like the chance to find the truth of the matter. This is too much, even for Naruto."

"Please, leave us." Hiruzen dismissed the rest of his _Chunin._ "Iruka, I have all of my _Shinobi_ searching the village for him." Iruka's face fell. "But he is not in the village. I have scryed him in the area around the hut. North Gate. Do not fail me, Iruka. I care for Naruto, but that scroll could cause far too much damage in his hands."

"I'll bring him back, Hokage-sama." Iruka met the old man's eyes evenly. "And I'll find out what's really going on."

"Go, then." Hiruzen watched as the _Chunin_ disappeared. He turned back to his ball, keeping an eye on Naruto as he trained to use _Kage Bunshin._ Despite it all, Hiruzen would admit that the boy took to them like a fish to water. He had finished the basics of the technique after only an hour and a half. Now he was reading the scroll again.

 _If the fox escapes, I'll do what must be done. May the_ Shinigami _accept my soul, I will not fail you again, Minato._

 **. . .**

Naruto smirked at his success. He was tired, and bruised; he'd learned not just one, but _two_ techniques from the scroll. He even had the foundation of a third one memorized. No way would Mizuki not pass him now. He'd be a _Shinobi_ by tomorrow morning.

"Naruto! Are you stupid?!" Iruka landed on the ground. From the force of his impact, he had been moving pretty fast.

"I think I'll let my test scores speak for themselves, Iruka-sensei." Naruto stood up. "I got the scroll, just like I was supposed to. Mizuki-sensei said he'd meet me here, but I guess you're the one doing the test?"

"What test, Naruto? This . . . this is a disaster. You'll be lucky if the Hokage doesn't exile or imprison you for this."

 _What?_ No way. What was Iruka talking about? "Whaddaya mean 'exile?' I'm just doing what I'm supposed to, I say. Now that I know a clone technique, you'll let me pass. Isn't that the point of this other test?"

Iruka was about to start yelling again, but he stopped himself. "What do you mean? There is no other test. Who told you about all of this?"

"Mizuki-sensei. You'd know that if you had paid attention instead of yelling, but you _always_ yell." Naruto crossed his arms and sat down. "I'm not doing squat until Mizuki-sensei gets here, so you can just wait patiently or find yourself a short pier to take a scenic walk off of."

"Naruto, there is no make-up test. Something very weird is going on here, and I need you to come with me back to the Hokage." Naruto turned his head away. _No fucking way is he being petulant right now._ "Naruto, get up or I'll–"

"Well, this is just amusing to watch." Iruka turned to face Mizuki, who was leaning on a tree branch. Apparently, he'd been there for some time. "The weakling and the failure, arguing over a powerful weapon that neither have the potential to use."

"Mizuki, what is going on? Naruto's saying something about a makeup test. He used your name a lot. This . . . what's going on?!"

"It's pretty obvious, Iruka. Naruto!" The boy turned around to look at Mizuki. "Hand me the scroll, and I'll make you a true _Shinobi._ "

"Okay!" Naruto jumped up to do just that, when a hand landed on his shoulder.

"You will do no such thing, Naruto. Give me the scroll," said Iruka. Naruto looked between his two mentors, confused.

"Is this still part of the test? Am I supposed to make a decision, or something?"

"Yes, Naruto," said Mizuki. "You need to decide whether or not–"

" _Shut up!_ Naruto, there is no _fucking_ test, now hand me the scroll. Mizuki, I don't know what's gotten into you, but the Hokage will hear of this."

"Alright, whatever. I don't have time for this anymore. Naruto, you want to be a _Shinobi?_ Catch!" Mizuki pulled a large shuriken from his back. He flung it at Naruto. It was moving faster than anything the boy had ever seen.

Naruto couldn't move, he could only watch in terror as the spinning weapon made its way towards his neck. Suddenly, a force from the side collided with him. Iruka jumped them both to the safety of a tree branch. The shuriken flew past where Naruto had been standing and nearly bisected a tree.

 _Wh-what's going on?_ "Iruka-sensei–"

"Be quiet now, Naruto. I'll take care of this." Iruka's voice was dangerous. It wasn't like the kind teacher he was used to. It was the voice of someone who had killed before, and would kill again. "You take the scroll, and you run. Don't go back to the village. The _Shinobi_ there don't know exactly what's going on."

"I don't know what exactly is going on!" said Naruto.

"Dammit! Mizuki used you to get his hands on a Forbidden Scroll. If he takes it, any number of horrible things could happen. You need to run!"

"He's not going anywhere with that scroll!" Mizuki was bearing down on them. His foot collided with the tree where Naruto's head had been less than a second before he ducked. Iruka moved to block his follow-up attack, but Mizuki wasn't going for Naruto.

Iruka took the brunt of the kick in the stomach, then he fell from the branch. That left Naruto alone with Mizuki. Naruto chose to get some distance, and tried to jump down to the ground, but the scroll he had strapped to his back was caught.

"I'm just gonna take this and be on my way . . ." Mizuki had to dodge the kunai thrown by Iruka. In the process, he released Naruto. The boy fell hard on the ground, and he backed away from Mizuki.

"Iruka, I don't want to have to kill you, but don't think I won't."

"Why are you even doing this, Mizuki? What could you possibly gain from betraying Konoha?"

"Power, obviously. Money and influence." Mizuki looked at Iruka standing below him on the ground.

"What about your friends? Are you really just going to leave like this?" Iruka subtly gestured to Naruto, telling him to run away. "What would Tsubaki think of that? She died for this village, and you're going to betray it?"

Mizuki growled. "Don't bring her into this. I'm leaving because I can't get any stronger here. I've hit a barrier. Some powerful people have agreed to accept me if I bring them the scroll."

Naruto had heard enough. He finally understood what this was all about. "You bastard!" he said. "You used me to get the scroll!"

"You're a little slow on the uptake, Naruto." Mizuki had an idea. It would hopefully cripple the boy's resolve. "You know, since we're here, do you want me to tell you a secret?"

Iruka caught on instantly. "No, shut up, Mizuki. He can't know!"

"You remember how _Yondaime-sama_ died, don't you? Killing that demon fox." Iruka tried to attack him, but Mizuki was the physically stronger of the two. First, he kicked Iruka in the knee, then he pinned him against the tree and turned back to Naruto. "What if I told you something? The day you were born, the day the Fourth died, the Third made a rule."

"What are you talking about? I don't care about any stupid rules. Let Iruka-sensei go or I'll pound you!"

Iruka struggled to break the pin, but Mizuki increased the pressure on his throat. "Oh, you'll care about this one, Naruto. It's about you, after all."

"About me?" Naruto could only think of one constant in his entire life. Those cold looks he always received from the villagers, the outright hatred some of the _Shinobi_ expressed, despite not knowing him at all.

"He made a law that said: 'No one is to speak of Uzumaki Naruto's status as the demon that destroyed _Konohagakure_ and killed the Fourth.' That's why you're alone, because you're the _Kyuubi_!"

"No way . . . That's a total lie . . ."

"No, it's the truth. Haven't you wondered why everyone hates you? You killed the man you admire most, and in the process, almost half of all the _Shinobi_ in the village." Mizuki could still feel Iruka struggling. "It's no use, Iruka. He knows what he is now. I'll bet he hates you too, for lying to him." Mizuki started laughing maniacally. _This_ was what it was to be powerful. To hold the lives of others in your hands, and to do with them whatever you wished. "Still don't believe me?"

"No, of course not! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I may not be liked, but no way am I that fox! I'm me! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Well, if you look deeper into that scroll, you could find the seal that the Fourth used on you, or so I've heard. It's amazing what can be done with _Fuuinjutsu._ Too bad you'll never get the chance!" Mizuki pulled the other shuriken off of his back and flung it at Naruto with all of his might.

The boy still wasn't moving. _Am I . . . really? That makes no sense. But it does. I was born on the same day, I have no parents . . ._ He felt a sudden shift in his body, and then extreme vertigo. He blinked and found himself at an odd angle. He was sitting on a branch across the clearing from Mizuki. Iruka was in his place on the ground, the over sized shuriken stuck in his back. A double _Kawarimi._ Mizuki looked surprised, but not displeased.

"Naruto, run. Just run and don't look back." Naruto couldn't take it anymore. The sight of Iruka bleeding on the ground sent him into a panic. He turned and ran as fast as he could.

"Well, that was heartwarming." Mizuki jumped down from his branch and pulled his shuriken from Iruka's back. "Just sit there and bleed. I'll be back for you in a minute." With that, he disappeared into the trees.

 _Dammit . . . why? I need to get to Naruto. He's probably running scared right now. Mizuki could easily lure him into a trap._ Well, traps were always a good place to start. Iruka pulled himself off the ground and stumbled forward. He had a plan, and it _would_ work.

Friendship with Mizuki be damned, it was time to get serious again.

 **. . .**

Naruto was not good at many things. Two of the things he was best at, however, were running, and hiding. He had already dropped Mizuki off his trail several times. Naruto knew he couldn't run forever, though. He needed a place to hide.

There was a clearing just ahead. He could dig out some tree roots and keep a low profile until . . . _Until what?_

According to Iruka, none of the _Shinobi_ in the village even knew what was happening. He heard noises in the clearing. When he stopped behind a tree, he could just barely make out Iruka's voice.

"Because, you idiot. _I'm_ Iruka. What, you can't even figure out an ordinary _Henge?_ Shameful, Mizuki. Maybe I'm not the only one who's gotten soft."

Naruto tried to look around the tree, but Mizuki's cold tone paralyzed him again. "Iruka, I wasn't going to kill you, for Tsubaki's sake. I'm changong my mind about that.

"If you even can. You're barely a poor excuse for a ninja right now. What kind of idiot monologues instead of pressing his advantage? You should've killed me before I even knew where you were, instead you needed a power trip." Iruka coughed, and he appeared to slump against the trunk of a tree.

"You're monologuing right now, you hypocrite."

"I'm good at multitasking. _Isshi Tojin!"_ A string of sealing arrays sprung from underneath Iruka. surrounding the clearing. "You're stuck in here, Mizuki. The only way to escape is for you to kill me."

"That won't take too long. I'll kill you and find Naruto. The plan hasn't changed just because you've sealed yourself in here with me."

Iruka stood up on shaking legs. That was fine with him. Naruto would get some distance on Mizuki, and he'd be able to see his parents, and Tsubaki, again. "Bring it, second-fiddle." He smiled as the implications of that nickname caught up with Mizuki. "Tsubaki'll probably be wanting to see me again, anyway."

Mizuki roared with rage and charged Iruka's weak form. With how injured Iruka was, the hand-to-hand fighting was rather one-sided. Naruto winced with each punch that landed on Iruka. _He's not going to last very long . . ._

Naruto had been on the receiving end of a beating a couple of times, but older bullies and street punks weren't quite as dangerous as trained _Chunin._ Naruto couldn't even see half of the movements. _How can he take this?_ Naruto would have given up minutes ago, but Iruka kept on standing. He was bleeding from his mouth and his nose, ignoring the smaller hits in favor of preventing Mizuki from landing a killing strike.

Finally, Iruka fell to a knee, and then backwards as his legs appeared to give out. Mizuki smiled triumphantly and produced a kunai from his tool pouch. "So, since we're monologuing, can I ask why you're sacrificing your life for that demon that killed your parents? I figured you'd hate him more than most . . ."

"You are right, I do hate the fox with every ounce of my being." Iruka wiped his lip.

 _He does actually hate me . . ._ Naruto's eyes were downcast, trying to prevent the tears from spilling out. _Just like everyone else._

"And you're right about Naruto. I did hate him once." Naruto let the tears go, no longer capable of holding them back. "Then I opened my eyes to what was really standing there. Naruto and the _Kyuubi_ aren't the same. He's one of my students; he's a no-good prankster, and he doesn't work as hard as he should, sometimes. But he also knows what it's like to be alone, to feel like there's nobody out there that would care if he dropped off the face of existence." Iruka dragged himself up from his back into a slumped sitting position. "We have more in common than even you and I, Mizuki. Naruto is a fine _Shinobi_ and a citizen of _Konohagakure._ He knows of sacrifice and selflessness, something I don't think you could even conceive of as you are now. I'd lay down my life in a second if it meant protecting him!" Iruka pushed himself up from his slumped position on the ground. "So, come on. Kill me if you can!"

Mizuki lunged forward, and Naruto could tell that Iruka's counter was coming in too slow. His teacher was going to die, for him. _No, this can't happen. He knows what he's doing, right? He can't actually be willing to die for me . . ._ Something clicked into place for Naruto at that moment. The piece of the puzzle he'd been missing.

Sakura had told him that he had no one to disappoint, but she was wrong. His family was standing right in front of him, about to take a fatal blow. " _The Hokage is certainly the strongest, but he's also willing to sacrifice himself ten times over for any single villager. Everyone in the village is like family to him."_ Iruka's word rang in his head like a death knell. He had found the answer to his question.

 _Iruka, Ayame, Teuchi, Jiji . . ._ They had all known about the _Kyuubi_ , and none of them cared. They had accepted him with open arms. They weren't just people he cared about, they were his family. The sad smile on Iruka's face as he accepted death sealed it for Naruto.

He moved with speed like never before, there was a power that surged through his veins the likes of which he'd never felt in his life. Iruka's barrier never stood a chance. Mizuki was knocked across the clearing as Naruto body-checked him.

"You think I'm just gonna let you kill my friend?" Naruto turned and offered his hand to Iruka. The _Chunin_ looked him in the eyes for a moment, and then hesitantly took the offered hand.

"Naruto, I told you to run." Iruka was trying not to stare at the red irises and slitted pupils in Naruto's eyes.

"Sorry, Iruka, but I'm not going to leave you behind." Naruto turned around and they both faced Mizuki. "How do I take this guy down?"

"You don't. He's a _Chunin,_ you run. That was the point." Naruto shook his head furiously.

"You're not dying tonight. We can totally take him together."

"Not likely, demon!" said Mizuki. He threw the large shuriken on his back at Iruka. Naruto knew he couldn't block it with his tools, they were too small. But he had something.

 _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu._ He formed the unique cross-shaped seal he had used when the technique finally worked for him. A perfect clone appeared in front of Iruka just in time to catch the shuriken with his stomach. It looked down with wide eyes for a second before looking at Naruto.

When it dispelled, the sensation that overcame him was . . . terrifying. He saw as if through his own eyes as he was formed, and when he died less than a second later.

 _The memories of the clone?_ Naruto gasped and fell to a knee. That was death. It was a horrible sensation, to say little of the feeling of betrayal he had picked up from his clone. That scroll never said they had souls.

No wonder it was listed as a _Kinjutsu_. He stood up again, grateful that he hadn't lost control of his motor functions like his clone had. Naruto dismissed his doubts. He would do it all over again to save Iruka. He filed the trauma away for later analysis, as he'd been taught.

Mizuki came running to engage them in melee, which Naruto figured was his best skill. Iruka pushed him to the side and jumped in the opposite direction. "Naruto, flank him!" Iruka had been worried when he'd seen Naruto fall to his knees; _Kage Bunshin_ was an incredibly taxing _Jutsu._ Even the strongest _Genin_ Iruka had ever graduated couldn't hold one. That Naruto was able to and then stand up afterwards was impressive, especially if he'd been training with the technique before.

Naruto thought about the best way to get Mizuki. He had dominated Iruka in one-on-one, so Naruto thought it would be fair to even the odds a little.

He created four other clones around him, and they charged at Mizuki's left side. Iruka came in from the right, his injuries slowing him down.

Mizuki punched a Naruto right in the face, dispelling it in a burst of smoke. He then swung a roundhouse, forcing Iruka to duck and dispelling another clone. Iruka tried to get inside his guard, but Mizuki closed down his right side, taking Iruka's punch on his forearm, instead of his head.

One of the three remaining Narutos charged Mizuki in a suicidal attack, taking a strike straight to the clavicle. It dispelled, this time leaving behind a larger amount of smoke, which the original Naruto capitalized on by having his final clone launch him at Mizuki from inside the cloud.

He impacted with Mizuki's chest. While he was stumbling, Naruto bound the _Chunin's_ left arm with his legs, then he wrapped his arms around Mizuki's right arm.

"Get him!" he shouted. Iruka and Naruto's last clone attacked. Despite Mizuki's physical superiority, he could not knock Naruto off, and took both of the attacks coming in from either side.

Mizuki substituted himself with a log in time to avoid most of the damage, but he was sure that Naruto had at the very least bitten him.

"Time to use a _Jutsu_ . . ." He wondered which technique he should release on them.

Across the clearing, Naruto was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. Iruka was bleeding badly, and Naruto wasn't sure how to patch him up.

"Naruto," said Iruka, keeping his voice at a harsh whisper. "I have, ugh . . . I have a plan. I just need you to do what you do best."

"What?"

Iruka chuckled humorlessly. Putting Naruto in danger was the last thing he wanted, but the boy wasn't going to leave, and Iruka couldn't run away in his condition. "Go piss him off. Please be careful, though." Naruto arched an eyebrow. Iruka didn't have time to explain it all, so he went for the short version. "I need you to distract him, then I'll get him."

"Gotcha." Naruto looked around nonchalantly, putting together a way to piss him off. "Who was Tsubaki? That seems like a sore point for him."

"She was our third teammate when we were _Genin_. She didn't make it, and Mizuki had a huge crush on her. She also liked me a whole lot."

"Oh, well then would it bother you if I–"

"Say what you need to to infuriate him, Naruto. I'll understand."

"Alright, you ready?"

"Let's do it." Iruka had never actually thought he'd be fighting with Naruto as his partner. It was kind of surreal.

"Hey, Mizuki! Iruka told me who Tsubaki was . . . Did she really hate you that much?"

Mizuki hadn't left his hiding place yet. Iruka started to slink back into the shadows.

"Because according to Iruka-sensei, she was _really_ good in bed. I don't know if that's something that would matter to you, though. Apparently, she always just kinda thought you were a eunuch." Naruto didn't like speaking ill of the dead, but _Shinobi_ did unpleasant things to achieve victory all the time. "Anyway, yeah. That night you asked her out? She told you she was busy, right? Busy with someone else, more like. Hehe." Naruto didn't actually know if that had happened. It was a guess based on his own experience with one-sided love. The gamble paid off in Naruto's favor, as always.

Mizuki wasn't sure how Naruto knew about when he'd tried asking her out, but he didn't care. ' _Doton: Doryūsō.'_

The spikes of earth that erupted beneath Naruto sent him reeling. He dodged three of them before a fourth one caught his calf. it didn't cut too deeply, though.. Naruto, firmly on the retreat, didn't see Mizuki preparing his next technique. " _Doton: Tobi Tsubute!_ " Shards of stone started flying at Naruto when Mizuki slammed his hands against the ground.

"Shit!" Naruto dodged as many as he could, but several sharp stones still clipped him, shredding the shoulders and sides of his jacket.

Iruka had used his time wisely, and he was ready to reengage Mizuki, this time on his own terms. Panting heavily from exertion and blood loss, Iruka waved the lightly injured Naruto over to him. They fled through the trees for a few seconds, before Iruka stopped them.

Mizuki couldn't see Iruka, so when Naruto took off out of the clearing, it looked like he was trying to flee. After a minute to make sure it wasn't a trap to expose his hiding place, he followed.

Naruto landed next to Iruka. "Now what. Ow, that hurts."

Iruka was inspecting his injuries. They weren't life-threatening, so he let Naruto go. "Now, I need to know, can you make two more clones?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Make them and have one turn into me. I want you to have them lead Mizuki twenty meters that way." Naruto did as he was told, then he heard movement from the direction of the clearing. "C'mon, hide!" Iruka dragged Naruto away from his clones, who turned to face Mizuki.

"Trying to run from me, huh? Well, I'll just chase you down." Mizuki jumped after Naruto and Iruka as they tried to run away from him. "What, too weak to fight anymore? Stop running, cowards!"

They stopped once they reached a small clearing several meters away from where he'd located them. They looked too tired to move.

"Well, that's convenient." Mizuki jumped down and drew his kunai across Naruto's throat. He then stabbed Iruka in the temple.

After they both disappeared in clouds of smoke, he knew something was wrong.

"Don't move, or you'll explode." Mizuki looked up to see Iruka and Naruto standing on a branch above him. " _Fūbaku Hōjin._ " Mizuki saw the explosive tags light up, and the sensor strands extend from each one.

Naruto grinned at him. "Yeah, you got your ass kicked by a weakling and a failure! How's the taste of defeat?"

Mizuki growled. "I don't know, ask Iruka." The _Chunin_ was swooning where he stood. After a few seconds, he fell from the tree.

"Iruka!" Naruto jumped after him.

"Easy, Naruto. I'm . . . I lost too much blood. I'm too weak to keep going. I need you to run, and I'll hold him here."

Mizuki stepped forward, knowing that, despite a good effort, he had won. "Just hand over the scroll, Naruto."

Naruto glared at him. "I'll kill you first." He formed a cross with his fingers.

Where had Mizuki seen that before? _Whatever, it doesn't matter now, he can't stop me._

"Yeah? Try me. A punk like you wouldn't make it past my first shot."

"I already did," said a voice behind him. Mizuki turned, and almost fainted on the spot.

There were at least a thousand clones in the trees, each one glaring at him. As one, they spoke. "Don't think you can hurt my family and just walk away." Mizuki put up a valiant effort. His _Taijutsu_ was something to behold, but even the strongest _Shinobi_ could be overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Of the thousand clones Naruto had created, nearly seven hundred remained when Mizuki was little more than a babbling puddle on the ground. Naruto dispelled them all at once.

Big mistake. His head throbbed, and his vision swam. "Wha- ugh. What the hell?"

"Feedback," said Iruka. He had propped himself against the tree. "Try to dispel them in small groups, or you'll get their memories all at once. I had a friend tell me about it once. It can get pretty bad, even ending in dementia."

"Oh." Naruto smiled at Iruka. "Glad you made it, Iruka." He fell on his butt. "So, what now?" Naruto found that a thousand clones was a pretty tall order. He decided to avoid using that many unless it was an emergency.

"Now we wait for the Hokage. He'll send a party out here for us pretty soon."

"Are you gonna be alright?"

"Hopefully." Naruto pulled a roll of bandages from his pouch, thankful that he had taken Mizuki so literally when he told him to pack _everything_ , and tossed them to Iruka. The man nodded in gratitude and rolled them up over his wound.

"Thanks, Naruto. I'll make it, but I want you to come here for a second." Naruto stood up and dragged himself over to his former teacher. "Close your eyes." Naruto did as he was told. Then, he felt a weight lifting off of his head.

 _My goggles._ Iruka pressed something into his forehead, and Naruto felt a headband being tied around the back of his head. _No way. Is he really . . .?_

"Can I open my eyes, now? Can I, I say?"

"Yeah, Naruto."

The first thing Naruto saw was Iruka, sans his forehead protector, holding his goggles. Then Naruto reached up and felt what was resting on his own brow.

He was too tired to celebrate, otherwise he'd have pulled Iruka into a hug, but he did smile brightly at the man he now considered to be his family.

"Congratulations, Naruto. You pass. And even if you still have much to learn, I think you're already one of the finest _Shinobi_ I know." Naruto was too busy admiring Iruka's old, beaten-up forehead protector to really be listening. "I'll get you a new one tomorrow, if you want."

"No! No . . . This one is fine, better than fine."

"Well, maybe I want mine back?"

"Nope, I'm keeping it, get your own."

"It's symbolic, Naruto. I need that."

"No way. This one's mine now." After a moment, they both started laughing.

The boy certainly held the Will of Fire that the Hokage had told him about. That much was obvious, but tonight had been the first time Iruka was truly convinced Naruto would become Hokage one day.

 **. . .**

Iruka had been taken to the hospital when the Hokage arrived. After what't he'd seen in his crystal ball, the old man had come himself, along with two others, who looked like _Jonin_. One of them had a badass-looking beard and was smoking a cigarette. Naruto thought he had heard the Hokage call him his son.

The other one was a really tall guy with silver hair who was sporting a mask that completely concealed the lower half of his face, and he looked lazy enough that his forehead protector might have actually just fallen over his eye and he never bothered to fix it.

The Hokage had the silver-haired one escort Naruto to his office, where they both sat and stared at each other awkwardly for a moment.

"So," said the tall man. "What have we learned tonight?"

"That Jiji's a major perv. Also, Iruka and I make a pretty kickass team. _Oh!_ And I should definitely ask Jiji about _Fuuinjutsu_ , because I saw Iruka using it, and that shit is _soooo_ cool! _Dattebayo!_ "

 **. . .**

"So, Jiji _,_ Could you? I promise not to seal my arm away or anything stupid like that! C'mon, _please?_ "

Hiruzen rubbed his wrinkled forehead. His talk with Naruto had gone rather smoothly, after he revealed that Naruto himself wasn't the _Kyuubi,_ but rather its container. He had explained the dangers of the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, which were numerous and varied, asked what Naruto had seen in there—Which was not much—and what the boy planned on doing with his new information.

Naruto said that he didn't think it would matter. He'd been just fine for twelve years without the fox, why would he suddenly need it now? Then the boy had asked about sealing. This had put Hiruzen on guard, until Naruto told him that he only wanted to study it because "Watching Iruka do that _Ichi Taijin_ thing or whatever it was was _epic_."

"Well, I don't see you causing more trouble than you've already managed to stir up."

Naruto looked offended. "I'm a _Shinobi_ now, I won't have time for trouble."

"Of course not." _Liar._ Hiruzen stood up and walked over to his bookshelf. _What's the harm, eh? It's not like there's anything in there that could be used to release the_ Kyuubi. He found a dusty book that looked like it hadn't been touched in at least ten years.

"This is a _Fuuinjutsu_ pocket-guide. It was written by _Nidaime-sensei_ when he instituted the Academy program. This copy has been passed around by a few people who might be significant to you."

He handed the book to Naruto, who accepted it with eagerness. "Thanks, Hokage-Ji." Naruto seemed transfixed by the print on the red cover, which was faded, but still legible: _Fuuinjutsu, a Comprehensive Guide._

"That book belonged to the Fourth, you know." Naruto jerked up so fast he almost dropped it.

"Really? Cool. What's in it? The secret of his _Hiraishin?_ How about the sealing array that he used to drop a bridge on—"

"Everything you'll need to worry about for at least your first two years of practice. It also belonged to one of my students, Jiraiya the Toad Sage, and your mother."

"This belonged to my mom? When? How?"

Sarutobi shrugged. "As far as I know, it was given to her as a birthday gift by _Yondaime."_ Hiruzen picked up the book and opened it to a random page in the middle. "Since it was most recently your mother's, I think you should have it, even if it's a little outdated. The notes in here are nearly invaluable."

The page he was showing Naruto was marked-up all over the place. Some of the printed sentences were scratched out and an arrow leading to some flowing script was connected to them.

"Wow."

"Indeed. Your mother was something of a sealing prodigy, as were Minato and Jiraiya." The Third was about to hand it to Naruto, but then he seemed to think again. "Naruto, I want you to promise me something."

"Okay?"

"Don't ever read ahead in the book. Master what it has to teach you, and then move on, but never read ahead."

"Okay, I promise."

"Then it's yours." Hiruzen handed the book to him.

They sat in silence for a moment. Naruto looked tried to read the introduction, but he couldn't really get into it. Finally, he spoke.

"Hey, Jiji _. . ._ was it really enough? Today, I mean. Iruka got hurt really bad because I couldn't defend myself. I don't want that to ever happen again."

"Naruto, Mizuki was an advanced _Chunin_. He was going up for promotion to _Jounin_ in less than a year. The fact that you and Iruka even survived means that you're ready. There's no surefire way to keep your loved ones from being hurt. The only thing I know to do is to try and never stop growing, as both a person and a _Shinobi._ "

"You're right." Naruto closed a fist in front of his face. "I shouldn't be moping like this. Will I be able to see Iruka tomorrow?"

"Yes, he should be able to receive visitors by then."

"Awesome! I think he wanted to give me a speech, but he passed out too soon." Naruto grinned at the Third. "Can I go now? I'm really tired."

"You may. I'll see you again on Sunday."

"What? Why Sunday?"

"Your _Shinobi_ Registration. You need to have your photograph taken, then I'll need you to fill out some forms."

"Oh, okay. See you, then!" Naruto surprised Hiruzen when he jumped out the window, instead of taking the door.

 _Oh, no. Now there's three of them._ Hiruzen shook his head, putting thoughts of troublesome window-jumpers out of his mind. It was well after midnight, and he still had to work in the morning.

 _At least his Will is burning strong again. Maybe he really will succeed me one day. Goodness knows, I'll need someone to, and soon._

 **. . .**

 **Author's** **Note:  
**

So, yeah. Tell me what you think. Also, I feel like Naruto getting into sealing is becoming a bit of a fandom cliche, which is distressing because it's like, the coolest thing ever. I've had the idea for this story for, like, three years though, so I'm just gonna go with it.

Oh, as for Tsubaki, she did actually exist, sorta. She was Mizuki's girlfriend in the filler arc where he escapes from prison. I went AU and put her on a _Genin_ team with Mizuki and Iruka. This time around she died before they would have gotten together. If your experience of the Narutoverse if forever diminished by her loss, then I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

One more thing, I haven't really been keeping a glossary of translations from Japanese to English. Is that something people want, or are the context clues good enough for you to know what's going on?


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:**

So, here I stand, an absolute failure. Hiruzen's age wasn't an intentional change, it was just me being a moron and thinking I knew what I was talking about. I'll probably fix it when I come around again after I've finished all my rough drafts.

Life Update: I work on a farm. Farms are busy in the Summer. I haven't worked less than 10 hours a day all week. As such, my update schedule is going to take a hit. From now on, I will be updating on Sundays. I'm still gonna try and do them weekly, but if that doesn't happen, then I will definitely do them every two weeks. That being said. I'm tired as hell and going to sleep for about eighteen hours.

InARealPickle- As far as the _Henge_ goes, he failed because he, essentially, refused to participate. The Cooperation final was like, right there in the text so I'm not sure how to address that one. And I'm still not sure how I feel about Wave. Things are going to be different, but it's gonna be much more linear. For example, I won't waste time writing things from any POV except for Team 7, or something. Like I said, I'm not sure. I will finish this story, or die trying, however. It's already got an outline up to just about the end of Part 1, so I'm not likely to get writer's block or anything.

And so we arrive at Chapter 5, or as I've affectionately named it, "That One Fucker That I've Rewritten Like, Ten Times."

 **. . .**

Chapter 5: A Weekend to Rest . . . As If!, Part 1 (Or, That One Fucker That I've Rewritten Like, Ten Times)

 _Saturday_

 **. . .**

Naruto slapped the blaring alarm clock as hard as he could. Nightstand-clock hit the wall and he was sure he heard something shatter. That got him up.

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry." He jumped up and cradled the damaged clock. It wasn't ticking anymore. His dreams had been intense enough for him to remember. It was like a slideshow of every death suffered by a clone the night before.

Naruto set the clock back on his nightstand. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." Nightstand-clock looked like it could still be fixed. Maybe. With a miracle or two.

"But I need to go see Iruka, oh, no. Too many things to do." Naruto skillfully avoided his backpack as he went into his kitchen. He poured his ramen and got dressed in an approximation of his morning routine. He knew it had been more than three minutes, but his Kettle-clock still hadn't rung. "And you! You've been waiting for this! If anyone deserved to die like that, it was you. Now I'm dependent."

He slumped against his dresser. "Man, I hate being dependent."

Naruto glared at his clock. He didn't bother with his war-face, as he knew it would just encourage the thing in the future. "You're lucky I have to go. I'll deal with your insubordination later." He stumbled over some of the junk he had sitting around, looking for his jacket.

What he found was . . . disheartening. "Argh! Worst day ever!" The jacket had been mostly shredded by Mizuki's messed up stone techniques. He had spare pants, and spare T-shirts, but that was the only jacket left that still fit.

He was prostrating himself before the destroyed garment when kettle-clock deigned to inform him that his ramen was ready. He would have to do without his jacket for now.

"I'm sorry, I'll get you fixed later." Naruto pulled the top off of his ramen, but another glance at Kettle-clock told him it was already after eight. "Dammit." He inhaled his breakfast, not bothering to pause for taste, then he tossed the cup aside.

Once again taking the window, Naruto turned towards the hospital. It was a slightly longer trip than to the Academy, but the streets still seemed to fit his route, rather than the other way around. Ayame waved at him as he sprinted past and he promised to return for lunch.

The hospital was one of the tallest buildings in Konoha. It was certainly the biggest structure that only served a single purpose. Naruto pushed the glass door open and marched up to the receptionist. It was a rather pretty woman wearing small reading glasses. She looked busy with some sort of medical file, so Naruto waited.

Finally, she looked up from the paper.

"Uh, Is Umino Iruka receiving visitors?" He didn't miss her dark look at him, but it didn't bother him the way it used to. He knew why now, and as far as he was concerned, it was a type of negativity he didn't need in his life.

Scapegoating.

"I believe he is. Room 115." She stopped addressing him and turned back to her paperwork.

He smiled at her, showing his teeth in the brightest grin he could manage. "Thanks, ma'am!" Naruto chuckled and started towards the door into the hospital rooms.

"Sign in, please." She didn't even look up at him this time.

"Oops. Sorry, ma'am. I forgot." Naruto scribbled his name down, then he smiled again at the woman. "See ya."

Naruto thought Iruka's room was a little bit too sterile. "It feels like someone died in here."

"Someone almost did, Naruto. Apparently, I lost enough blood that they had to give me a transfusion." Iruka smiled at the boy in front of him. "But, here I sit. They said I'll be able to return to light duty by Monday: just in time to give you guys your team assignments." He looked down at the scroll sitting in his lap and scratched his nose. "Assuming I ever finish them."

"Wait, wait, what's so difficult about assigning teams? Can't you just do it, like, alphabetically?"

Iruka patted the bed next to him. "C'mere, and I'll educate you." Naruto sat on the bed. "Alright, so, what I normally do is create teams based on class standings, right? So I'd pair the worst with the best, thus, balancing the teams."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I don't get it." Iruka palmed his face.

"Okay, let's say you're the dead-last, a position I'm reconsidering after last night, but nonetheless. I'd team you with, let's see, probably Sasuke, the top combat _Shinobi,_ and . . ." Iruka looked through some notes. "Uh, maybe Sakura, but it could be Natsumi, or even Shino . . . This is why it's hard enough to do it normally." Iruka nodded towards the scroll. "Anyway, that would help the weakest links."

"Oh, I get it now. You're gonna team extraordinary people like me up with losers like Sasuke." Naruto nodded sagely, having finally understood. "But, hey!" The boy bounced with sudden realization. "I don't wanna be with Sasuke, he's a total bastard! And his smug attitude just pisses me off!"

An older-looking doctor stuck her head into the room. "Hush. People are recovering."

"Ah, sorry, Hina-sensei," Iruka said. He scratched the back of his head and offered her his "I'm-awkward-please-don't-kill-us" smile. The woman closed the door. Iruka turned to Naruto. "Do you have any idea how frightening that woman is, Naruto?" Naruto shook his head. "Well, she can't kill you, because she's under oath, but she is trained to restrain potential _Shinobi_ criminals, remember that."

Naruto decided that an indoor voice could be an asset to _Shinobi_ who planned on continuing a career. "I still don't wanna be with Sasuke," he said.

"Well, your opinion has been noted, duly."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it. So, how are you? That was some pretty heavy stuff last night. I had hoped you wouldn't see real combat for a few months, at least."

Naruto thought he might be suffering whiplash from the sudden change of subject. "I'm fine. Mizuki barely even scratched me, see?" He raised his sleeve to show Iruka that the scratches had already healed.

"I was thinking more about your _Kage Bunshin._ That's a very draining technique. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I'm not even a little tired right now. I think I can keep making them indefinitely."

"You know what I mean. Mizuki killed that clone, and I saw you react. How are you?"

"It was . . . weird. Like I was the one dying." Naruto cast his eyes towards his stomach, where the giant shuriken had torn his clone open. "I can't really remember the feeling any more, though. I should be fine." He didn't bother to tell Iruka about what happened while he was unconscious. How Mizuki had practically ripped him apart three-hundred times. He would focus on the future, not the past, and right now, the future meant not getting stuck with the prick named Sasuke. "So, so, why are you having trouble with the teams this year?"

"Well, there are a whole lot of extraordinary students. I'm having a hard time matching them up. I got a letter from Yamanaka Inoichi, Nara Shikaku, and Akimichi Chouza, they want me to put their kids together, but I'm not too sure about that." He made a note on the scroll, which was running out of room. " _Sandaime-sama_ told me it was completely up to my discretion, but I still think he has his own agenda. He hinted at wanting you on the same team as Sasuke. Something about 'friendly competition'." Iruka shook his head. "I don't know, Naruto."

He set the scroll aside. "I'm also under pressure from three of the most powerful clans in the village. The Hyuuga want Hinata on a team with someone who can "protect the bloodline." Inuzuka Tsume threatened to do . . . _terrible_ things to me if Kiba was stuck with 'Annoying weaklings.' And Aburame Shibi, Shino's father, decided to drop in and ask me where I planned to put Shino. I didn't have anything to tell him." Iruka's spine still tingled from the memory of that meeting, or maybe that was just the wound from the shuriken in his back.

Fifty-fifty either way.

 _Since when am I the one venting at Naruto?_ "But this isn't really your problem. I'll have them done by Monday."

Naruto didn't agree with that at all. It was totally his problem. "But if you screw up the team assignments, won't that mess up a whole bunch of things? I mean, I'm always seeing older kids running around in teams of three, so aren't we gonna be stuck together for a while?" Naruto didn't relish the chance of being stuck with Sasuke for even longer.

"Yeah, Naruto. No pressure, thanks." Iruka readjusted himself on his pillow, checking the time on the clock hanging above his door. It was a sterile white, like everything else in his room, and it read: 9:12 AM. "It's still pretty early. What are you planning on doing for the rest of the day?" That got the boy's attention.

"Well, I was gonna see if you were well enough to treat me to Ichiraku's after that fight, but since you're not I guess I'll just, I dunno, hang out?" Naruto squinted in thought. "Maybe I can bother Jiji into teaching me something now that I'm a _Shinobi_ , or I could get started on that book . . . "

"Which book is that?" Iruka had never known Naruto to read voluntarily.

"Oh, it's a book on sealing techniques. I saw you use that _Ecchi Taijin_ –"

" _Isshi Toujin."_

"Whatever."

"It's an important distinction, Naruto."

"Again, whatever. I saw it, and it was the bomb. I asked Jiji to show me some, and he gave me this book." Naruto was thankful he had remembered his tool pouch that morning. He had stored the book in there on his way home the night before. "Here." He handed the little red book to Iruka.

The _Chunin_ cracked it open and glanced over the pages. "The preface is missing," Iruka said. "It looks like it was ripped out, but the rest is pretty incredible. Jiraiya himself wrote his notes in here, it also looks like a couple of other people did, but I'm not sure who they are, though they're far more advanced than I am."

" _Yondaime_ and my mom." Naruto beamed with pride.

Iruka smiled brightly in return. "Well, I would definitely encourage you to read this, then." Iruka snapped the book shut and handed it back. "How did your mom end up with it? If it belonged to _Yondaime-sama_. . . "

"Jiji said it was a birthday present. I dunno why, though." Naruto scratched his head. "Well, I'm glad you're alright, Iruka." Naruto turned to leave. "Oh, and, I know I'm not very good with the smart-people stuff like organizing teams or whatever, but if I were you, I'd tell all of those parents to stuff it. We're your students, and we were all signed into the _Shinobi_ program equally. You know our abilities better than they do. They don't have a say in where we go." He laughed. "I like your goldfish impression. I'll bring lunch by later, unless you already have a date or something."

"No, lunch would be great . . . I'll see you later, Naruto." The boy took off down the hallway.

Iruka was vastly confused. The reason the Third had assigned him to Naruto was because he could predict what the unpredictable boy was going to do, now he was constantly being surprised. It was weird. Not to mention the fact that his mother was in possession of a book on seals from the Fourth

There was only one Uzumaki in the village when Iruka was growing up: Kushina. But Iruka didn't think she was ever friends with the Fourth. "Odd." Perhaps it would behoove him to look at some of the older _Shinobi_ files.

 **. . .**

 _Introduction:_

Fuuinjutsu _is an ancient and mysterious art, dating back to before the time of the_ Rikudou Sennin. _It is both powerful and dangerous. Inside of this book, I have laid the foundations for any aspiring seal-master. Read them, follow the instructions to the letter, and you will have a strong base from which to begin your own path down the long and winding road of seal-mastery . . ._

Naruto thought the Second was being a little long-winded, then he found the note scribbled in the corner. It caught his eye because the handwriting was terrible, but the letters were perfectly spaced. There were no variations at all.

 _Minato, ignore most of this._ Nidaime-san _is a long-winded sort of fellow. To summarize what he's saying here: mind you handwriting, and pay attention to your arrays. I've seen your scripting, it's not bad, but you can always improve. A single mussed letter, and you could find yourself ten thousand years in the past, rather than sealing a weapon away. No, don't try that, either. Going back in time is the best case scenario with this shit. I'd rather not teach a babbling lunatic for the rest of my days._

Naruto chuckled, but took the message to heart. His handwriting was so utterly atrocious. There was the first thing he needed to improve on.

"What's that, Naruto?" Ayame was trying to read the book upside down.

"This? It's just a book on seals. Y'know, ninja stuff."

"Oh. But I heard that you–"

"Yeah, but then I passed the make-up test."

"Really? That's great!" Ayame set his first bowl down in front of him. "Is that why you're here? To celebrate?"

Naruto nodded while slurping down his ramen. After swallowing a giant gulp, he grinned. "Yep! Oh, can I also get some miso to go? Iruka's in the hospital, and he needs lunch."

"Iruka's in the hospital?" Teuchi poked his head out of the back room. "What happened?"

Naruto clamped a hand over his mouth. He wasn't really supposed to talk about that. The Third had said it would be "bad for business" if it became known that one of Konoha's _Chunin_ tried to defect. "I, uh . . . I can't really say. Sorry. He's fine, though. Definitely gonna be out by Monday, or so he said." Naruto went back to his ramen. Ayame and Teuchi shared a look, before shrugging and getting to work on Naruto's to-go order.

Before she handed him the bag, Ayame tried to engage Naruto in conversation again. "So, you're a _Shinobi_ now. Doesn't that mean you're going to be doing all sorts of dangerous things?"

"That's kind of the job description, _Neechan_. Why?"

Ayame looked at the boy in front of her. "I dunno, aren't you a little . . . under equipped? Most of the _Shinobi_ I've seen running around are covered in weaponry. I'll worry about you if you go out with nothing but those knives you showed me."

Naruto laughed. "All the best _Shinobi_ use kunai and shuriken. Everything else is . . . uh, what was that word? Extra-something. Extraneous? Whatever. It's just unnecessary for an excellent _Shinobi_ like myself." He nodded.

Teuchi cuffed him over the ear. "Hey, dumbass, my wife was a _Shinobi,_ remember? I know a thing or two about this." He crossed his arms. "If you're gonna be successful, you've got to take any advantage you can get." He looked thoughtful for a while, and Naruto was afraid that he would start yelling again, then he turned to his daughter. "You know what? I think you're right, Ayame. Go get the box."

"Mom's box? You told me not to touch that. It might be dangerous, right?"

"Just go fetch it, Ayame. Do be careful with it, though." She turned and went out the back door of the stand. Naruto knew it was built into their house, but he'd only been inside a couple of times. He tried to leave his money on the counter and sneak away. He didn't want to know what Teuchi was going to do with that box. A hand gripped his collar with surprising strength. "Sit down, Naruto. Let's have a talk."

Naruto sat. "A-about what, sir?"

Teuchi leaned on the counter. "You know you're almost like a son to me, right? You've been coming here since you were, what, four? That's eight years of meals at least twice a week. In other words, I've known you for a very long time, kid."

Naruto nodded.

"I'm gonna tell you a story. It's about my wife. She died a few years before you were born."

"Okay . . ."

"She was on a mission a year or so after she'd given birth to Ayame. It was her first A-rank since she'd taken time off, and she slipped up." Teuchi sighed loudly. "I know now that it was because of pure arrogance on her part. She thought she was ready to go back. I urged her to keep doing smaller missions, but my ramen stand wasn't drawing much revenue at the time, and we couldn't support ourselves." He shook his head.

Naruto could tell that the old man was holding back tears. "Hey, Teuchi-ji, are you alright?"

"Yeah, Naruto. I'll be fine. It's just . . ." Ayame popped her head into the stand. She was huffing a little bit, and when she stepped in fully, Naruto could see why. The "box" was a full foot locker.

"I got the case," she said. She set it on the ground in front of Teuchi, and he opened the top. Naruto couldn't see what was inside, but Teuchi seemed to have a specific thing in mind.

"Now, I asked one of her teammates how she died, and he said she went up against one of those _Kumogakure_ swordsman with a kunai." He pulled something out of the locker and set it on the floor, just out of Naruto's view. "The reason she did, was because she wasn't carrying this." He set what was obviously some kind of weapon stored in a sword bag on the counter. "Didn't think she'd need it, right? cause excellent _Shinobi_ don't need extra weapons."

"Oh." Naruto wasn't sure what to make of this situation.

Teuchi muttered something dark, looked down at his feet, then back up at Naruto. "I'm trying to say that no matter how good you think you are, it's best to be prepared for anything. My dear Kaoru didn't think she needed this any more. Well, now there's no reason for me to keep it." He shook his head. "I want you to have it."

Ayame pulled the sword out of its bag. It was a beautifully crafted Ninja-to with a matte-black _Saya._ She had been quiet until now. She didn't remember her mother, but it was always hard for her to hear her dad talk about her. She had admired the blade a few times in the past, when she entertained the thought of becoming a _Shinobi_.

Naruto took the offered sword with all the grace he could muster. It was lighter than he thought it would be, probably not more than a kilogram. He ran his fingers down the three black, iron fittings. On the third and final fitting, which was fixed to the _Kojiri,_ there was a broad spike. The _Tsuba_ was square-shaped, and undecorated. There appeared to be several old and rusted coins wrapped in the _Ito_ as _Menuki_. He looked up from the sword at Teuchi and Ayame. "I can't accept this, no way. This is too much."

Teuchi laughed. "It's a graduation gift. Besides, all it's doing is collecting dust. I insist."

"But I can't use it. The blade is way too long for kunai forms."

"Naruto," Ayame said. "Take the sword. Maybe it'll save your life one day, and then you'll be able to come back and tell us about the ridiculously dangerous mission you were on, and we can all laugh about how close you came to not making it back, okay?" She smiled at him. "Isn't that better than the alternative?"

Naruto knew he'd already lost the argument, so instead of accepting defeat with dignity, he set the sword down and vaulted the countertop. Teuchi and Ayame found themselves drawn into a hug.

Naruto was sure he'd never received such a nice gift before. "Thank you, both of you." He stepped back, wiping his eyes. "Now I just gotta find a teacher. I'm not gonna let this gift go to waste, I say. No way."

Ayame grinned and Teuchi rubbed the top of Naruto's head. "You're gonna do fine, kid. Now, pay up and get out. Iruka's ramen is getting cold."

"Oh, no! I totally forgot!" Naruto jumped over the counter again, grabbed Iruka's ramen and his new weapon, dropped his money on the counter, waved at the two cooks, then took off at a run.

 **. . .**

Kakashi wasn't worried about the illegality of what he was doing, neither was he worried about getting caught. Everything about that boy last night was bothering him. He'd only talked to him for a few seconds, but it was closer than he'd ever gotten to the village's _Jinchuuriki_.

Kakashi knew he was a blond, he'd also known he was loud. The similarities had stopped there. Until they hadn't. _Dattebayo . . ._ It was something about his face when he said that.

The Third had told him and Jiraiya, in no uncertain terms, that Minato's child had his mother's red hair, and that he'd died when the _Kyuubi_ escaped. Naruto was an orphan, left in the orphanage by some random transient, named by the Fourth to honor his dead son, and that was the end of it.

Except it wasn't. Which was why Kakashi found himself in the Hokage's office during the older man's lunch break. The Hokage had ANBU guards, of course, but he took all but one of them with him everywhere. The one left in charge of his office, Tora, was good at his job. He just wasn't as good at it as Kakashi.

He found the filing cabinet. Due to the seals surrounding it, it was only accessible to the Hokage. There were three arrays, each one had a different trigger, and a different reaction. Kakashi remembered the Fourth teaching him how to get into it.

Minato had told him: "Remember this if anything ever happens to me. If Orochimaru or Danzo try to take office, I want you to break in here and take everything. Empty the cabinet. There is incriminating information in here that will take them both down. I'm trusting you to use your discretion." Kakashi knew that this was hardly what the Fourth meant for him to do, but it had to be done.

He disengaged the array meant to ensnare the one trying to open it and alert the Hokage. After that, he went after the one that would incinerate everything in the office, excluding the cabinet. Then he disabled the one that would cause the cabinet to implode.

Kakashi started going through the files. There was a specific one he was looking for. He was sure that there were files in here that could start a war, or worse, but he wasn't interested in any of that.

He found Naruto's file quickly enough, right past the one entitled " _Uchiha Affair, The_." Being careful to not make a sound, he lifted his headband from where it sat over his eye. The red eye of the Uchiha clan spun to life as he read over the file. He could memorize it the entire thing and recall it later, but he was only interested in one piece of information.

He found what he was looking for, and was on his way out of the office through the window, when the door opened.

The Third had returned early. "Kakashi?" He looked more confused than infuriated, but that was bound to change. "What are you doing here? If you wanted to see me, you should have made an appointment."

Kakashi spun on his heel to face the old man. His headband was back over his _Sharingan_. "Yes, of course. I have been distracted today. I must have forgotten that you take your lunch at one, rather than Noon."

"Oh?" The Hokage took his seat. His eyes were old and tired, but his sense were still sharper than any of his _Shinobi._ He easily spotted the single strand of silver hair that was sitting on top of the filing cabinet. "Alright. Perhaps we can stop playing this game, then. Tell me what you were doing in my office."

"I was looking at the files in your cabinet." Hiruzen sighed. He waved his ANBU away.

"Leave us. Engage the privacy seals. Tora, I would like to speak with you later." His ANBU melted away. They were alone. "Tell me how you got into it." He waited another two seconds. "Comply, _Shinobi."_

" _Yondaime-sama_ showed me how to access those files." Kakashi's tone was neutral. He had retreated into full "tool of the village" mode.

"Why?"

"In the event that Shimura Danzo or Orochimaru ever came to power in the village, I was to empty those files and use the contents to incriminate and remove them from office."

"I see . . . This is still a problem. Why, specifically, did you access those files?"

"I was looking at the records of Uzumaki Naruto."

Hiruzen grumbled. It wasn't as bad as he'd feared, then. "I knew this would come up sooner or later. You should have come directly to me."

"You lied to me."

"Don't take that tone with me, boy. Of the two of us sitting here, you're the only one who could be executed on the spot." The Third took a breath. "Yes, I lied. I lied to you, and to my own students. I also lied to Shimura Danzo and Uchiha Fugaku. I lied to Hyuuga Hiashi and I lied to my teammates, Koharu and Homura. I even lied to the _Daimyo._ What of it?"

"Why?"

"That should be obvious. He already has enough on his shoulders as a _Jinchuuriki_. Imagine what his life would be if people like Danzo knew who he was. Imagine if _Kumogakure_ got their hands on that information."

"So people like Danzo shouldn't have been told. There was no reason to keep it from me. Definitely not Jiraiya." The Third shook his head and chuckled.

"Jiraiya had it figured out within a week of coming back. That's why I sent him away."

"I don't understand."

"That's a first." The old Hokage stood up, his knees popped, and he grimaced. "Come with me. I want to show you something. We'll discuss your . . . transgression, afterwards."

 **. . .**

Naruto sat next to Iruka as he poked at the cold ramen. "Sorry. I was a bit distracted."

Iruka eyed the Ninja-to in Naruto's lap. "I can see that. Tell me you didn't get suckered into buying that. There's no way you need one of those yet. I swear, kids who get out of the Academy and immediately start loading up on esoteric and exotic weapons . . ." There was one student that he knew of. He hoped Naruto didn't start taking after her.

"Teuchi gave it to me. Did you know his wife was a _Shinobi?_ " Naruto offered the weapon to Iruka. "Problem is, I can't use it. And I don't know anyone who can teach me how, either. I was hoping you could. I don't wanna have to leave it behind. It looks like a really valuable gift. I'd hate to waste it."

"I don't know enough about _Kenjutsu_ to teach it." Iruka flipped it over in his hands a couple of times. It was a really nice Ninja-to. "It's surprisingly simple to learn, but it's a nightmare to teach."

Naruto sighed. "I guess that would've been too good to be true."

Iruka thought for a minute. "Well, maybe there's something I can do." Naruto's eyes lit up. "No promises, but I know a guy who owes me a favor or two." Iruka pushed himself up higher in his bed. "His name is Hayate, he owes me at least an afternoon. Perhaps he can teach you the basics."

Naruto nodded. "But, um, is he good? I mean. No offense, but if he owes you a favor . . ."

"He's taught _Kenjutsu_ to at least one ANBU."

"Where do I go to find this 'Hayate?' I mean, It's getting late and I don't wanna waste any time." Iruka looked up from his cold ramen at his former student. "I don't think he's on a mission right now. Try his apartment. It's about three blocks down from the Academy. Number 408."

"You're the best, Iruka!" Naruto stood up. "I'm sorry about the ramen, though."

"Don't worry about it. Go heckle him for me. Tell him I sent you and I'm calling _one_ favor from the Anko Incident. He'll know what you mean and probably won't ask too many questions." He could have had him call any number of favors, but the Anko Incident was the one that would probably get him moving, especially if Yuugao was around.

"Thanks!" Naruto jumped out the window.

"Go sign out, you moron!" Iruka called after him. He saw Naruto turn around and run back into the front door of the hospital.

"Now what am I gonna do about these teams? Maybe . . ."

 **. . .**

"You wanted to show me a condemned building, why?" Kakashi crossed his arms and stared at the building in front of him. From their position on the roof, he had a vantage over an old building that was characteristic of this area in Konoha.

"It's not condemned. You know the history behind this district," said the Third. Kakashi did. It was part of town that the _Kyuubi_ had utterly destroyed. After Hiruzen retook his office, there was an effort to rebuild.

Needless to say, things had gone well for a few years, then it was discovered that some of the fox's malevolent Chakra remained in the area. It grated on people's nerves. The crime rate rose rapidly. Eventually, everyone who could afford it moved somewhere else. They were standing in what was, essentially, the slum of Konoha. It was where the poorest lived, and most of the Yakuza activity took place in the village.

The Third spoke again. "Then you know that only one individual could possibly be immune to the long-term effects of this place."

"Naruto?"

"Yes. This is his apartment we're looking at."

"Is he the only tenant? It looks pretty bad."

"I don't know." Hiruzen jumped from to Naruto's balcony from their adjacent rooftop. Kakashi followed. "I wanted to show you what he has here." The Hokage produced a key, and they entered the building. "Naruto?" The Third looked around. "He's not home. Come in, Kakashi."

The tall man ducked under the door. "This place is a mess. You're not doing a very good job of convincing me you made the best possible choice, here, Hokage-sama."

"I don't have to convince you of anything, Kakashi. Keep in mind the fact that you're lucky to still be alive." The old Hokage sat down at Naruto's table. "Sit." Kakashi obeyed. "Now, perhaps this is a bad time to tell you I was planning on informing you of Naruto's status as soon as he graduated?"

"Why didn't you?"

"It slipped my mind, what with the Mizuki incident. Anyway, I'm telling you now." The Third leaned back. "You can see that his apartment is a mess, but I brought you here to show you that he does have one."

"What? I fail to see what this has to do–"

"Picture this, then. Namikaze Naruto, beloved child of _Yondaime_. Four, maybe five, years old. Watched over by Hatake Kakashi and Jiraiya of the Sennin, arguably the two most loyal _Shinobi_ ever produced by this village. This innocent boy, having never done anything to warrant it, is assassinated by an elite _Iwagakure_ hit squad, maybe a sleeper agent. All it took was those two legendary _Shinobi_ turning their back for a second, and he's dead."

Kakashi could see the logic behind that, even he and Jiraiya were likely to let their guard down eventually, but it didn't answer all of his questions. "So? His heritage didn't need to be common knowledge. Jiraiya and I could have dropped in every couple of days. That would have been enough."

The Hokage nodded. "It would have been, in a perfect world. One problem. I think you can guess who."

"Danzo."

"Yes. He would have noticed you checking up on Naruto. Say he has his ROOT _Shinobi_ kidnap him. With two high profile figures like you and Jiraiya watching him, it would have been plainly obvious who he was. As he is now, Danzo doesn't even know where Naruto lives. I've kept him hidden. In fact, this is the first time I've ever visited his home. Usually I have him brought to me by Neko or Ryuu."

Kakashi stood up from his chair and went to Naruto's refrigerator. "What about you, Hokage-sama? It's not unheard of for the Kage of a village to house its _Jinchuuriki._ "

"Naruto would have died in an accident by the time he was three."

"What?" Kakashi didn't want to sound accusatory, but that last statement was utterly out of the blue. He picked up a carton of milk from the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.

Hiruzen rubbed his forehead. "Naruto would have 'died' in an 'accident' by the time he was three. Then, maybe ten or twelve years down the road, Danzo shows me another potential ANBU recruit that he 'found in the orphanage' and trained. Hollow, dead eyes. No emotions, no heart. Nothing, just an empty slate with an impressive pedigree and the power of a _Biju_ at his beck and call." The Hokage sighed deeply. "The only reason that hasn't happened is because Danzo doesn't know where he is. My most loyal ANBU have been running a powerful counter-intelligence operation on their own teammates since I discovered ROOT was still operating. That's why I had him removed from the orphanage."

Kakashi noticed the carton of milk he was looking at was expired, but he didn't say anything. He already knew why he hadn't been included on that mission. He would have recognized Naruto, eventually. _I can't believe I didn't see it sooner . . ._ "Why haven't you eliminated Danzo, then? With respect, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen ground his teeth. "Because as much as his methods may displease me, they are efficient. That I know of, Danzo has prevented several civil wars in the Land of Fire, not to mention countering three attempts from Iwa and one from Kumo to start a fourth World War. The lives he's saved outnumber the ones he's taken a thousandfold. Naruto's history is not so valuable a thing that I'd destroy Danzo over it."

"Even so, isn't he subservient to you? Why haven't you simply ordered him to leave Naruto alone?"

"Because, until now, I haven't been in a position where I could guarantee the boy's safety. Danzo has many allies outside the village. Dealing with him is like walking on glass."

Kakashi shrugged. "I'll leave it to your discretion, Hokage-sama, but I know that I would rather remove a thorn from my side, and deal with the bleeding, than allow it to fester." Kakashi returned the milk to the fridge. "You said you planned on telling me about Naruto."

"Yes. I believe he has developed to a stage where sharing such information with a select few cannot harm him." The Third stood up and cracked his back. "I am getting old, and being the only one with such knowledge has begun to weigh heavy."

"So, what would you like me to do?"

"For the time being, nothing. I don't want Naruto to know until I believe he has developed to a stage where it won't affect him negatively. As for your earlier fatal lapse in judgement, I believe that I can let it slide, this time.

"Yes, Hokage-sama. Thank you."

"And Kakashi, I'll be changing those seals as soon as I can. If I ever catch you going through files classified that high above your rank again, student of _Yondaime_ or not, I'll kill you with my bare hands. Dismissed."

"By your will, Hokage-sama." Kakashi all but sprinted out the door at Sarutobi's Killing Intent.

The old man laughed. _I've still got it._ Then he remembered his humiliation at the hands of Naruto the night before. _Mostly._

Kakashi swiftly returned to his own apartment. As soon as he arrived, he made sure no one was waiting for him. Then he ripped off his mask and ran to the bathroom, where he proceeded to vomit until there was nothing left in his stomach..

He fumbled around for his toothbrush. The Hokage's Killing Intent had unsettled him beyond anything he'd experienced before or since the _Kyuubi_ itself. But, like a good _Shinobi_ , Kakashi was able to set the trauma aside for later. He'd have a mental breakdown after he spoke to Naruto's teacher, Iruka.

 **. . .**

"No, Hayate-san. He said _one_ favor from the Anko Incident. He wanted you to show me the basics, I say." Naruto tried to look the sickly man in front of him straight in the eyes. It was not an easy task. His hair was disheveled, and he was mostly naked. "Er . . . I'd offer to come back later, but this really can't wait." The poor man looked so sick, too. He was red-faced, sweating and everything.

"Wait, what's this 'Anko Incident?' Is there something you need to tell me, Hayate?" said a woman's voice from somewhere inside.

The man coughed. "Um . . . No, Yugao. I don't really feel like talking about it." He looked down at Naruto. "Iruka-san's got some terrible– _cough_ – timing, you know that, kid?"

"You're telling me. Look, I just need some pointers on the basics." Naruto bounced on his heels. "It's already after two, so I don't have much time. _Please?_ "

"Um, did he mention any . . . retribution, if I decline?" Hayate coughed again. The favor was owed to Iruka, after all, not a punk kid asking for the best swordsman in the village to tutor him.

Naruto hated threatening and lying to sick people, but it was a bitter necessity. "Yeah! He said he'd tell the _Neesan_ in there all about the Anko Incident."

"I don't suppose I could persuade you to stop calling it that? That sounds really bad from a relationship standpoint."

"You could teach me how to use a sword."

"You could tell me about it first, and avoid a great deal of embarrassment."

"Sorry, Yuugao, but I'll tell you about it later. Look, kid. It's just not something you do in an afternoon. Learning proper _Kenjutsu_ takes years of practice. So . . . if you'll excuse me." Hayate moved to close the door.

"I didn't say I wanted to learn everything. Just grip and stuff, alright?" The door closed. "Aww, come on. I don't suppose I can change your mind about this?" Naruto heard a deadbolt slide into place.

He was not a _Shinobi_ to take defeat lying down, however. He spun his back to the door, slid down into a sitting position, and pulled his book out. "Hey! You're trying to rest or something, right? Well, here. Let me read you to sleep!" He flipped to the page that he had been on most recently. Jiraiya's notes cut the monologue in half, at least, but the Second's text hadn't been erased or anything. His loud, strident voice which had given him so much grief suddenly became an advantage.

He began reading the Second's lecture. "'Storage seals are the most basic form of _Fuuinjutsu._ Any budding master will have to learn them at some point. The most important part of the storage seal is the central matrix. It is here that you can attune the specifics of the seal. If, for example, you wanted to seal a kunai, but didn't want to leave room for anything else, you can do so by configuring the scroll for the mass of the kunai. Every scroll must have a mass configuration, but the size can be altered by **Seal Compression (see page 135).**

In order to configure the mass/weight to space ratio of a scroll, first place the _Kanji_ for 'empty' in the center of your scroll. From here you can apply numerical arrays which will key the scroll to a certain mass or weight. An array is formed by adding one _Tomoe_ to each corner and connecting them. Alternatively, a concentric spiraling matrix can be added to the initial _Kanji_ and marks can be added at precise, equal intervals (See **Known Uzumaki Sealing Techniques, page 308** )' . . ." Naruto continued reading out loud for some time. Serving the dual purpose of annoying Hayate and learning the first phase of sealing.

After nearly half an hour, there were sounds of a short struggle from inside. he only managed to make out: "Look, he's not stopping and this is obviously not gonna work with him out there. Just take the kid out and show him the basics. Then you can come back and tell me all about this 'Anko Incident.' Hurry up." Naruto stood up triumphantly. He turned to face the door and grinned.

Hayate was pushed out unceremoniously. He only had his flak vest halfway on, and his shirt was still untucked. He was holding his headband, which was completely unfolded, and a katana. He glared at Naruto. Hayate was about to say something when he descended into another coughing fit.

After he recovered, he finished putting his vest on and tucked in his shirt. "Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. You want to learn how to use a sword? You're gonna learn, and learn _hard_. Training Ground– _cough_ – Three. You have two minutes to get there, or I'll carve up your ass even worse than I'm already going to." Hayate disappeared with a loud pop and a cloud of smoke.

Naruto actually gulped. Mizuki may have "killed" him three hundred times, but the look Hayate had just given him promised something else entirely.

It promised torture. He took off as fast as his legs would take him. Training Ground Three was far more than two minutes from Hayate's apartment.

 **. . .**

"Ah! Kakashi-san. To what do I owe this visit?" Iruka sat up straighter in his hospital bed. He set his pen on the nightstand, but left the scroll loose across his lap. "I wish I could be more accommodating, but I, well . . ."

"It's fine, Iruka-san. I'm not really one to stand on ceremony, anyway. I actually came to ask about a student."

"Oh, are you going for a team this year?" Iruka picked up his scroll. "Who would you like to discuss? I'd assume that with your . . ." Iruka gestured to Kakashi's face. "Well, anyway. I'd assume you're interested in Sasuke, right?"

Kakashi chuckled. "Actually, I'm more interested in Uzumaki Naruto, although I'm sure there's no shortage of people who think I should take Sasuke."

Iruka was nothing if not protective of his friends. "May I ask why you'd be interested in Naruto?"

That was a problem. Not one he hadn't anticipated, but a problem nonetheless. Kakashi couldn't outright tell Iruka about Naruto's father. "Um . . . you could say . . . Well. Considering _that_ , one could think of him to be _Yondaime-sensei's_ legacy, yes? I feel somewhat responsible for him after what happened yesterday." Kakashi trailed off. _That was a terrible lie_ , he thought.

"Oh. Well, which slot did you sign up for?" Iruka picked up his pen. He was happy to give NAruto to a legend like Kakashi. Someone like him might actually be able to satisfy that boy's need to learn new things.

"Team Seven, I believe. I am sorry to put upon you like this. I know it's odd for teachers to request specific students."

Iruka laughed bitterly. "Not as odd as you'd think. You know Kurenai-san, right? She was here not ten minutes before you. She wanted Hinata." Iruka scratched his scar. "It was weird. She said the same thing you did . . . felt responsible, that is. Not about– er, yeah." He chuckled nervously. "Not to mention all these parents who want their kids on the strongest teams. I've had Sasuke 'requested' as a teammate for several of my kids."

"Really? Is he that good?" said Kakashi.

"Oh, yeah. He's the best for raw damage potential." Iruka smiled proudly. "I think he's going places. He took down the _Genin_ in his _Taijutsu_ exam in less than ten seconds. The only one who'd have a chance against him is Kiba."

Kakashi whistled. "That is impressive. I wouldn't mind training a prodigy like that, but I don't want to put any stress on your team assignments."

"No, actually, this works out well." Kakashi was known throughout the village for his emphasis on teamwork. Any team he led was always closer together after he left. If anyone could sort them out, it would be him. "Naruto and Sasuke don't get along at all, but if you can get them through that, I believe they'll be one of the most dangerous combinations the village has ever seen. Think, like, the Senju Brothers dangerous."

"You think they can go that far?" Kakashi wasn't sure, but Iruka knew them better.

"Oh, yeah. After what I saw from Naruto yesterday, in addition to Sasuke's natural talent, I really think those two could surpass anyone that came before." Iruka started writing notes on his scroll. Apparently, he had sold himself one the idea of teaming Naruto with Sasuke. "Thank you, Kakashi-san. I really did need to say it out loud to realize it. Do you have any preference for a third teammate? It might help me sort the rest of them out."

"Not really. I'm afraid I don't even know the other students. Thank you, though. I wish for your speedy recovery." Kakashi turned towards the door, and then Iruka's voice stopped him.

"Did you know Uzumaki Kushina?"

 _This can't be good._ "I did. She left us too early, like many on that day." Kakashi took his hand off the doorknob.

"I'm sorry. I only asked because Naruto mentioned his mother and I was wondering if that was her. She was the only Uzumaki in the village when I was growing up. I don't suppose you'd know any better than I in that respect." Iruka scratched the scar on his nose again.

"May I ask why you thought I'd know her?" He turned to face Iruka fully.

"You were _Yondaime-sama's_ student. Naruto is in possession of a book that was given to his mother by Namikaze-sama. I was wondering how they knew each other."

The Fourth's relationship with Kushina was no S-Class secret. He could tell Iruka right now. Iruka would put it together very quickly, and then he'd tell Naruto. Of course, the Third would know it was Kakashi. But there would be no way for him to prove it . . . But, what if the Third was right and this ended up breaking him? Naruto was probably fragile enough after he'd discovered his relationship with the _Kyuubi._

 _Well? Do I exercise caution, or do I do what I think is right?_ "Ah, they were just casual acquaintances. Minato-sensei probably gave the book to her as a joke. It wasn't one of Jiraiya's, was it?"

 _To err on the side of caution is no err at all._

"No, it was a _Fuuinjutsu_ pocket-guide. It had a lot of pretty advanced notes in it."

 _Oh . . . Oh!_ That _book. Why would Sandaime give him that after what we just talked about?_ It wasn't a birthday present. It was a goddamn wedding present.

"It was definitely a joke, then. Uzumaki Kushina was a sealing prodigy even among her own clan, such a book would be useless to her. It was probably a practical joke from one seal-master to another."

"Oh. Well, thank you again, Kakashi-san."

"Of course. Get well soon." Kakashi left through the door, closing it gently behind himself.

 **. . .**

Naruto was gasping and panting. The moment he'd arrived at the field, Hayate had thrown him a _Bokken_ , and they'd been fighting ever since. It could hardly be called a fair fight. Naruto thought it was more like a slaughter. _Well, at least he's giving me tips as he beats the shit out of me._

"No, no. I said an overhead block." Hayate brought his wooden sword down. Naruto clumsily blocked it as he backed up. He had, so far, picked up the proper grip, which Hayate had been kind enough to demonstrate exactly once before coming at him.

As he was chased across the field, Naruto had to note the vigor in Hayate's eyes. He hadn't coughed once since they'd started fighting. It appeared this was really his passion. "No. That's not how you block. Above your head, not parallel. I'd split your skull open if you tried to block like that."

Naruto fixed his block. Hayate whacked him a few more times. They crisscrossed the field. Hayate's attacks came fast. even if they weren't particularly strong, Naruto hardly had room to breathe.

It was another ten minutes before he found the pattern. Hayate was only using six distinct strikes. An overhead, a strike to his left, a strike to his right, those same strikes, repeated lower, and then a sort of lunge. He was also repeating himself, cycling back into one set, over and over. He would move through a set, hesitate a second, and then resume, as if he was waiting for something.

 _This isn't a fight, it's freaking_ Sandan Gi _with swords!_ Naruto realized that he wasn't supposed to try and fight back. He just needed to go with the flow. First, he stopped trying to plant his feet, and instead focused on mirroring Hayate's footwork. His blocking began to improve, and his steps were no longer reckless. His pulse crept back down as he fell into the myriad strikes.

It was like when he would run through the cluttered streets. There were obstacles, and then there were distractions. It was all about phasing out the distractions and focusing on avoiding the obstacles without sacrificing speed.

Once they completed what could be described as one set, Hayate hesitated again. Naruto knew what to do now, and he returned with an overhead. He copied Hayate's attacks to the best of his ability. Naruto was sure he messed up at least twice, but Hayate didn't say anything. As a matter of fact, Naruto noticed he had a rather surprised, if not happy, smile on his face.

After Naruto finished his "attack" set. Hayate stopped them. "Good," he said. "Surprisingly good. What's your name?"

That had Naruto taken aback, then he realized he'd never bothered to introduce himself. "I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. I'm gonna be Hokage one day, so remember it!" He grinned.

"Uzumaki . . . I've heard of you. A no-good prankster, yes?" He knew the boy was also the _Kyuubi's_ container, so he kept himself from relaxing completely. He coughed a few times into his sleeve, the rush from their "fight" having left him. "So how's a boy like you wrest a favor from Iruka?"

"Um . . . I can't really say?"

"Oh? Sounds interesting." Hayate took his headband, which he'd never bothered to put on in the first place, and began folding it into an odd shape. "Well, come on, I outrank you, right? Go on."

"I'm not technically ranked yet, so I'll tell you if you tell me about the Anko Incident."

Hayate grumbled. "Look, kid. The less said about that incident, the better. Let's leave it at the fact that Yuugao wasn't always the only woman in ANBU with purple hair and mistakes were made, okay?" He coughed again, tightening his headband around his head like a sort of bandana.

"Then let's just say that some bastard wanted to defect and he made a mistake 'cause he thought he could pull a fast one on the great Uzumaki Naruto! Also, Iruka got hurt." Naruto crossed his arms triumphantly.

"Fair enough." He could just look at the records later if he really felt the need. "Look, I'm gonna level with you. You're the first person in a long time to figure out that test. Since Yuugao, even." There was a rumbling in his throat, as if he needed to cough, but he was holding it back so that he could finish talking. "My master died in the _Kyuubi's_ attack. Now I'm the only one with knowledge of all seven tiers of mastery.

"Oh. I'm . . . uh, I'm sorry." Naruto didn't feel responsible, but the way Hayate sort of looked _through_ him made him feel that way.

"I don't need an apology, I need to pass my techniques along. My master died before he could take another student. I've taught Yuugao almost everything I know, but her duties keep her too busy to learn the final tiers." He shrugged. "You said you wanted to learn _Kenjutsu._ I'd like to continue teaching you on a more permanent basis."

Naruto wasn't sure. He only wanted to use _Kenjutsu_ to supplement his abilities. Hayate was asking him to master it. But how could he say no? He was sure that if he didn't give it his all, Hayate would call him on it. _So? Do I go with this, or do I just keep doing what I've been doing_? _What was that, exactly? Not much . . ._ It's not as if he couldn't branch out later, considering how young he still was. Even considering how young Hayate was. "Sure! That's awesome, what are you gonna teach me, then?" If things didn't work out, then he'd figure it out from there. For now, he had a concrete offer to learn a specialized skill.

Hayate actually laughed. "Slow down. You've just graduated, right? I don't want to step on any toes, so I'm gonna have to meet your sensei once you've pa– er, once that's been figured out. I can't teach you anything advanced until then. Yuugao kicked me out for the afternoon, so I'm free to get you started for real, though. We'll begin with the basics of the Leaf Style. Even if I can't teach you further, you'll have a foundation to improve upon."

"Great, great! So, I already figured out the grip, right? And the strikes, what are we gonna do?" Naruto rocked back and forth, waiting. He had apparently regained all of his energy.

"It's only three o'clock, right? Good, then, um . . . First, I want you to practice the overhead strike. Give me a hundred hits, and I'll make sure your grip doesn't slip, got it?"

That . . . sounded way more boring than Naruto thought it would be. "This is gonna be lame isn't it?"

Hayate coughed and expelled a large piece of something from his lungs. "Yeah, for at least the first month or so. Why, are you having doubts about your commitment?"

"Of course not! You want a hundred overhead strikes? Let's do a hundred overhead strikes. Get ready, Hayate-sensei. I'm gonna crush this lesson!"

Hayate wasn't sure if teaching the _Kyuubi's_ container the Secret Leaf Style was a good idea, but his options were limited. He'd tried numerous students who'd wanted to learn Hideki's secret techniques. None of them had figured out the basic foundations. None until Uzumaki Naruto. With his particular brand of _Kenjutsu,_ it was all about finding the ebb and flow of combat, then, at the last second, exploiting it.

He'd have to thank Iruka later, and find a way to do it without indebting himself to the man again.

 **. . .**

Hiruzen sat in the dark. It was late in the night, or perhaps early in the only source of light was from his pipe's smouldering ember, but he could feel the figure standing across from him.

"You called for me, Hokage-sama." It distressed Hiruzen to know that his old friend never removed his bandages, even when he went to sleep.

"I did. There are things I wish to discuss with you."

"Your will is my action." Danzo bowed low.

"It regards Uzumaki Naruto."

"The _Jinchuuriki._ You forbid me from ever discussing it in your presence." Danzo was one of three people in existence who'd never once buckled upon contact with the Third's Killing Intent.

"And why did I forbid it, Danzo?"

"Because I wished to take it under my wing. To turn it into a weapon for the good of the village. I wanted to use the power of the _Kyuubi_ to destroy Konoha's rivals."

"Correct. I called you here today because I realized that I've made several mistakes in my most recent term of office."

 _Understatement of the century._ "And how are these related to the _Jinchuuriki_ , Hokage-sama?" Danzo was careful not to let the budding hope show on his face. If he could just get his hands on that screaming blond idiot . . .

"Don't get your hopes up. This has nothing to do with your proposals regarding the boy." Hiruzen's form never shifted. He wanted to sag his shoulders. He wanted to close his eyes and not wake up until Monday, but he didn't have that luxury with Danzo. The second that man sensed any weakness, he'd sweep in for the kill, and the Will of Fire would be extinguished. "I had an enlightening conversation with Hatake Kakashi today."

"Did you?" Danzo knew that the Hokage had caught Kakashi in his office. After that, apparently his spies knew nothing else.

"Yes. He made me realize that I need to do something that I should have done long ago."

"Oh, and what is that, Hokage-sama?"

"I should have had you killed the second I discovered ROOT's continued operation."

That put Danzo on guard. He surreptitiously wrapped his fingers around the blade hidden in his cane. "ROOT again? We both know I abolished ROOT the very same day you ordered it."

"On paper. Just because I stopped receiving reports doesn't mean it's gone. I'm not _that_ guileless, Danzo."

"If you're going to try and have me killed–"

"Oh, no. Not today. I'm going to inform you of something important. Vitally so. Information about Naruto." Neko melted out of the shadows and placed a kunai at Danzo's throat. "I'm simply demonstrating that the second I desire your death, I can make it so. And by that same token . . ." Danzo heard a swift struggle outside of the Hokage's office. The door opened and light poured in. Danzo could see the silhouette of Kinoe, a former member of ROOT who now went by the name of Tenzo, with one of Danzo's bodyguards draped over his shoulder. " . . . I can destroy you, and everything you think you have in moments. Do you understand?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama. I live and die by your will."

"Team Ro is dismissed. Take the prisoner to the secure cell for interrogation."

"By your will, Hokage-sama." Danzo noticed another figure disappear from behind the Hokage. He was tall, but beyond that, it was too dark for his single, inferior eye to discern any details.

"And we are alone. Perhaps you'll speak freely now?"

"I assume it's too much to ask you to return my man to me? You'll not get much from him." Danzo leaned on his cane. The Hokage didn't bother to answer. Danzo continued. "I underestimated you, Hiruzen. Perhaps next time you'll be the one to underestimate me."

"Perhaps. I will now tell you what I summoned you here for." Hiruzen stood up to his full height, no slouch from age, nor bent knees. He was still mindful enough to keep his desk in between himself and Danzo. "You are aware of Uzumaki Naruto's status as a _Jinchuuriki._ You are not aware that I lied to you on that night. He is Minato's child."

Danzo nodded. It wasn't really that surprising. Now if only he could find the boy. Every file he'd ever filled out had the Hokage's office as an address, and every time he sent his ROOTs to find his home, they disappeared before they could report back. Konoha was probably the biggest of all the hidden villages, and the booming population was surprisingly effective at hiding a single, loud boy. Eventually, Danzo had given up, content to bide his time.

"I'm done hiding him from you. I'll even tell you exactly where he lives, because I know you'd never harm him. He's too valuable a weapon for that. First, however, I have a warning for you. Naruto's wellbeing is paramount to the security of this village. If anything happens to him, if he disappears on a mission, if his building collapses in an earthquake, if he so much a suffers a mosquito bite while in your presence, I will hold you responsible." Hiruzen placed a hand on Danzo's unbandaged shoulder. "And I'd hate to have to flay one of my good friends alive. I'm sure you'll bide your time until I'm gone, and I know you'll outlive me, but by that time, Naruto will be strong enough to resist you himself, and my protection will no longer be needed. You are dismissed."

Danzo left without another word. Hiruzen sat down in his swivel-chair. That conversation had been draining, but he also felt better than he had in a decade.

Perhaps Kakashi had been right after all. He needed to retake control of his village.

 **. . .**

 **Author's Note:**

So, I rewrote this fucker like, ten times, and I'm still not especially happy with it. I may end up completely redoing it later, but the important thing is that I accomplished what needed to be accomplished.

 _Kenjutsu_ is just going to be another device for me. Consider that I have the most experience with sword combat out of any type of fighting I've ever done. Really it's just me writing what I know, which is bad. I'm sorry.

So, sealing and swords. I really oughta watch myself. I'm probably heading for a train wreck.


End file.
